STUNNING PSYCHO (BWWM)

Poison

When school opened the next morning , I found myself being one of the zombies dragging my book bag down the hot halls. Our school was divided just as most of society was.
There were the overachievers, ass kissers and apologetic and seething with an uncontrollable need to surpass anyone who the teacher even looks at for two seconds too long.

While they were the 'socials', they are louder than the over achievers and everyone collectively knew they were going to get more out of life than everyone else combined.

They are bright, kind and funny and without them school would be even more of a nightmare than it already was.

Nightmares brings us to our last group.. the zombies. A zombie is not someone stupid or incapable of learning. A zombie will know the answer but refuse to raise their hand up, they'd let the teacher go on a rampage about no one listening every single time. Zombies are slow psychically, disassociated and withdrawn. They were the looming darkness that followed everyone, making sure they knew that their darkness was contagious. Zombies were the teens that hadn't even gotten through their first divorce but were already preening with nihilism. Zombies had guidance counselors following not too far behind them at every step.

I a glorious over achiever in all my ridiculous over politeness and apologist certification, found myself dragging my book bag behind Chris, the out and proud incel or for a less offensive term, mgtow.

Chris was hunch over on his way, his beanie hanging off his wild curly hair, practically dragging his right foot along with him.
I couldn't help but identity with him, almost as if he was a caricature of my inner emotions.

I followed Chris mindlessly, adjusting my posture to match his.
Wherever he was going, I'd follow too.
I'll join him in his quest for-

"So Wait- you rode his thigh and he said he'd call but then he just didn't?" Kin asked as if I had been speaking another language when I recounted the events of Saturday with him.

I had fallen asleep that night, and found myself waking quickly to check my phone in case he had called during my slumber but atlas- nothing.

No notifications from him, no notifications that eased my heart.

"I freak him out, I am so ashamed. Women suck." I said, and kin laughed.
"Why are you blaming women for this? a girl would be the only person embarrassment after they rode a thigh." Serena said with a wink.
"It's the 21st century and women can now make the first move, which brings me to my point... you call him." Kin said and I cringed even imagining it.
"Yeah babe, call him." Serena said and I felt like I was going to start sweating.
"Why are you so anxious?" Kin said placing his large cool palms on either side of my face.

"The last guy I was intimate with didn't call me back either." I said feeling ashamed once more.
"Hey.." Serena said wrapping her arms around my shoulder.
"Josue literally came out as gay the day after." Kin said.

"Oh god, I almost forgot." I felt wounded by the memory.
"If you say you turned him gay, I will be leaving this conversation and returning into later when I'm sure you won't be using homophobia for self deprecation." Kin announces and I shut my mouth.

"Look maybe this was what was meant to happen all along. He- well you gave yourself an orgasm using him and maybe you know this attraction that you have to him will simmer because of it." Serena said pulling me into a side hug.
"Everyone goes through this, crushing on someone, feeling like you'd go crazy if you have to continue to live without their attention but that isn't enough to start a relationship you know. You ran straight for this guy the first time you saw him and you've clung on to him ever since and that's okay you know, but you've convinced yourself that he's the only one out there for you and I just think it's not okay that you as far as you've told us don't really know this guy." Serena said, motherly.
Hearing such dote on me made my heart wrench.