The Music Producer and the Teacher 3: On Again, Off Again

Chapter 23

~~Marissa POV~~

I hear a knock on my door and before I even have a chance to tell Melissa to go away Marshall walks in.

"Hey. We need to talk." he said, completely serious. It was the most serious I had seen him since our fight after he tried to help me the night Melissa was stabbed. There was no hint of a smile on his face and his eyes were the deep blue they usually turned when he was upset.

"Fine." I said, scooting over on the bed so he could sit next to me.

"Babe I just want to get through to you. To understand why you've resisted everything I've tried to do. I want to make you feel at ease. But I can't do that the way things have been going. You're not giving me a chance."

"I can't do all this change." I said, feeling like I'm wanting to cry. Fuck not being vulnerable, fuck trying to keep things my way. If I don't tell him how I feel I'm going to lose him "This is all too much. I don't want to give up my home or my friend or my life."

"Woah, slow down. Who said you had to give up everything? Baby, being a parent is about sacrifice. It's the one thing my parents never did for me, and it sounds like yours didn't either. It has to happen to give this baby a good life."

"It starts off with just a home. Then Melissa wants nothing to do with me, then you want me to quit my job and before you know it my life is unrecognizable. What happens if we move in together and we break up? I don't want to be stuck with you because I have your kid, Marshall. That's not the kind of life I want for myself."

"Baby, I know it's scary. You're just beginning to trust me again and no one knows where were going to be at even a month from now much less 7. But you have got to have faith it's going to all go down for the best."

"Exactly. You don't even know where were going to be so how am I supposed to trust you enough to just move in with you?"

"I wish I had an answer for that Marissa. But I don't. We have to do what's right for this kid."

"I'm what's right for this kid. I'm it's mother." That sounded horrible. It wasn't meant to be taken the way Marshall took it.

"I fucking KNEW it! You don't want me to be involved with this baby. Do you Marissa?"

"That's not what I meant."

"Fuck that! It is what you meant!'

"No Marshall! Listen to me!"

Before I could say anything, he turned and stormed out. I heard the front door slam. I really didn't mean that. I don't want to move out of here though. We can't be around each other long enough to even make up. How am I supposed to believe that living together is the best for us? For a baby? I am not raising a baby in such chaos. All I keep thinking about is us fighting. And I can vividly envision us fighting over the baby. Literally, right over top. Everything piling up at once causes me to have a panic attack. I slump down onto the floor and wait for it to end. I can't stop crying. And it's getting really hard to breathe.

Suddenly I feel a sharp pain in my stomach. That's new. I've never felt that before. I finally take a deep breath, which hurts more, and go to the bathroom. Melissa doesn't appear to be anywhere in sight. She must have left when she heard Marshall and I yelling.

As I go to sit down, I instantly see blood and know this isn't a good thing. I feel myself wanting to break down, but out of sheer fear of having another panic attack and doing any further damage I call Melissa.

"'Rissa, what's happened now? You should have-"

"Melissa! It's bad. Something bad has happened!"

"'Rissa what?! What is it?!"

"I don't know. But there's blood. Please HURRY!"

"I'm just around the corner, 'Rissa. I'm coming."

I put the phone down. Unsure of what to do I just wait for Melissa, who burst through the door what felt like only moments later.

"'Rissa?" she asked, kind of quiet. "Is the baby okay?"

I immediately began crying. "I don't know Melissa. I just don't know."

"Alright. C'mon. Let's go to the hospital."

She grabbed my hand and we practically ran out to the car. I had a really, really bad feeling.

~~~~~

The trip to the hospital was a blur. I couldn't help but feel like this was my fault. I should have just done what Marshall wanted me to. I should have just done everything he asked. Life would have been so much easier and maybe I wouldn't be here right now.

I was pretty much rushed back once we got to the ER. I told the doctors I was supposed to see Dr. Mayfield who got there pretty quickly to tend to me. After asking me a bunch of questions she just went straight for the ultrasound. She squeezed the jelly on my stomach as she had done a couple weeks ago and touched the wand to my skin. Except this time, there was no strong heartbeat. Last time Dr. Mayfield was able to find it almost instantly, so the fact that she was searching and still not locating it made my heart break into a million tiny pieces.

"Marissa, is the father here? I feel like you should both be here for this."

I shook my head. "No. Whatever is going on just tell me please."

"Marissa I'm afraid the baby has passed. There's no heartbeat and your uterus appears to be empty now. It's possible the blood you saw was the baby coming out. Sometimes these kinds of things happen and there isn't any rational explanation."

I just began to sob. How could this happen? That baby didn't deserve to die, and especially not like that. Melissa climbed into the hospital bed with me and held me.

"Is there anything she needs to do?" Melissa asked for me.

"No. It looks like everything is fine. She may experience some cramping as if she's on her period. But everything else will be normal. Should I inform the father?"

"NO!" I yelled. "No. I will do it. Leave him out of this."

Dr. Mayfield nodded before offering her condolences and walking away. Just like that my baby is gone.