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Three by LolaSayn

👑 Author: LolaSayn

Author's spotlight:

I'm Lola Sayn and I've been writing songs, poems, and stories my whole life. I wrote my first book this year and felt liberated by my ability to pursue my dreams. I've always had a creative bone in my body that could never be satisfied. 

I, like many others, have dealt with many hardships in my life and part of celebrating getting through those hardships is turning them into an adventure or world others can resonate with or find comfort in.

Three was an idea I had a few years ago that I always wanted to explore. I decided I needed to write the story when I realized how many women have had the same invalidated feelings that I had. Women have a power inside them. Maybe it's not the same kind of magic as Sapphire and her family but they have power and a voice. People will try to make you feel inferior. People will try to silence you. That's the price you pay for being different. If I could empower just one person with this story it will have been worth it. Freedom comes from within.

Title: Three

Genre: Fantasy

Tags: magicrealism, romance, genies, angsty, strong-female-character, lgbtcharacters, thriller, etc.

Blurb:

"I'd give you anything you asked for." He admitted while peering into my eyes with ferocity. I hadn't noticed his hand inching toward mine clutching my mug until he ran his knuckles over the soft skin of my hand. He nearly took my breath away. I brought the drink back up to my lips to break the contact between our hands. "It's not healthy to get everything you want." I spoke from experience. His eyes fell to my lips around the rim of my cup. "And how would you know?" He whispered. "It's sort of my birth-given responsibility to make sure that men like you get exactly what they want. I've never seen a man be better for it."
***
Sapphire, a survivor of a cruel love, seeks refuge in the loving home of her dear friend, cousin, and fellow witch Crystal. After escaping a man who's had a hold on her life for over a year she makes plans to start the life she's always wanted. With no intention of triggering her curse ever again, Sapphire takes extra precautions to avoid intimate relationships entirely. It only takes three little words to change her course again for the worse. Three little words and she MUST use her cursed magical abilities to perform any three desires asked of her. You know what they say...Bad things come in THREEs.

💎 Reviewer: EliBees

Review:

Title 5/5:

The title is relevant and extremely fitting for the novel.

Cover 5/5:
The cover is very intriguing and certainly drew me in.

Blurb 5/5 :

I'm not a very big fan of dialogue in blurbs, but I really liked the flow of the small snippet you give the readers. I felt very drawn in by it and it made me want to click that 'read' button.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling 12/15:

There are a few grammar issues. For instance, in chapter 1, you need to capitalize some words after your dialogue: "You've said that almost everyday since you've got here [could also read, since you got here]. I'm really worried about you." Her voice was shallow like a tone more accusatory could break me. And I'm sure it would. (I have this problem too as I'm sure you noticed in TBOS lol). Other than those few mistakes, your grammar, punctuation and spelling are fine.

Worldbuilding/Descriptions 8/10:

The worldbuilding is truly excellent. There were only a few places I was a bit confused. When Sapphire met Wes the first time I was a little confused about why she was so upset or what it meant when she turned the lights on and off. However, my confusion was quickly resolved in the next chapter when she explained her trigger words/phrase. I have to say that is an awesome twist on magical powers and I really enjoyed it. I also love how you subtly introduced the rubies. That was an excellent way to introduce her sister.

Plot Development/Pacing/Chapter Structure: 18/20:

As with the worldbuilding, your plot development is superb. You're clearing developing an excellent storyline. The concept of witches' powers being triggered by phrases to grant three wishes is such a unique twist on the witch genre. I've never read a story that took this kind of angle and it makes me want to know what Sapphire's family member's phrases are! It's so intriguing. It's not very often I read stories that have such a clear plot in the first four chapters. The pacing and chapter structure of the story is very well done. The paragraphs and dialogue are very well placed and it makes for an enjoyable read. I don't know exactly where the story is going, but there is so much substance in each chapter it's hard not to get completely immersed in the story. Very well done.

Character Development 18/20:

The character development of Sapphire is spot on. She's not a one-dimensional character at all. You do an excellent job of telling and showing the reader how she's feeling and how she's trying to work through her issues. I really appreciate that she's not just an agoraphobic and completely isolating herself, but she has a strong network around her that she's able to open up to. I also think the names you chose for your characters is very clever! Jade, Ruby, Sapphire, Emerald, and Crystal - that's just really tasteful.

Originality 10/10:

It's so original! Like I've mentioned before your take on witches and their magic is so refreshing! Anyone who loves a witch novel will really enjoy this. I also appreciate the struggle/conflict Sapphire has with her trigger phrase. This story is like nothing I've read before and it's so so nice.

Enjoyment/Hook 10/10:

I thoroughly enjoyed reading those first four chapters! Honestly, it wasn't enough. You hooked me when Sapphire met Wes in the coffee shop. I was in it. I wanted to know why she was so upset and even more intrigued by what happened to her in New Orleans!

Summary 91/100:

Oh my goodness, where to start. I have to be honest and say I was wary of the blurb like I mentioned before I'm not a huge fan of dialogue in blurbs. That's just a personal preference. However, it really works for you and this novel. I was completely hooked after Sapphire met Wes and he said those three little words to her! I had to know how this was going to affect her and whether she would see him again.
You do a fantastic job of describing the world around Sapphire and an even better job of describing her and her emotions. You're an excellent writer with a wonderful way with words. The only suggestion I would make is to clear up the small grammar issues I mentioned. You have such a beautiful story here. Anyone who is a fan of supernatural romances with an emphasis on witches would eat up this story! It's so good and so original. Excellent, excellent job!