Did you know that books can kill you? I recommend we ban books for all the dangers being spotted about books. Some people get small injuries, while others are much worse.
Have you ever been reading a book, when you cut your finger on the page? That’s mother Nature warning you to put down the book and run! Or maybe you were looking for a book on your bookshelf and the books kept on falling on your head.
“I have a bookshelf with not enough space on it, so I stack the books in two rows. I was looking for a book behind one of those rows when the books on top of those rows fell on me! I haven’t picked up a book since!” says Abbie Johnson, a smart student from 4th grade.
Another unfortunate person had a relative die by a book.
“My grandma was really old, and had heart problems. I was at her house for a sleepover when she said she was going to read, and went to her room. An hour later I came in to ask her something when I saw her dead on the bed- with the book in her hands.” says Mikayla Smith emotionally.
We have an estimate of 100,000 book injuries in the U.S, with 9 deaths. By 2414 we guess that the human race will go extinct due to books. We’re warning you… STAY AWAY FROM BOOKS!
People have bad judgement, that much is clear. Try to make the right choice on this one and burn your books. We’re starting a book drive to support our decision. Any books you give us we will happily burn or destroy for you. Feel like you want revenge for the deaths? Don’t worry, we’ll do well.
There are several ways to destroy a book, like burning it, sinking it, ripping it, or making it explode. Many more ways are known, I know because we hire people to find the worst ways to break books.
We also recently purchased poisonous gas to choke the books. Scientists discovered that books are alive only a year ago, but they kept quiet so the people wouldn’t freak out. That’s why this cause is so serious, the books actually want to kill people and get revenge for the tears and coloring of little kids that don’t respect them.
My company has personally went in search of this, and we found breathing holes in the book’s spine. We continued and found a rough edge which we assume is the mouth. Eyes have not yet been discovered, but we are still looking.
Any other ways to kill books would be great to know. Please contact us at: www.bookdeathsandotherbadstuff/fake/danger.com. Thank you for the helpful tips.
PLEASE KNOW THAT ALL THIS INFORMATION IS ABSULUTY FAKE!!!
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Funny Satire Stories
Short StoryThis a book about funny satires, which I learned in language class. It'll be funny for you to read, and you'll love it!
