dandelion ● jujae

•I

loving a friend isn't easy. especially when they are always by your side and you see them everyday. you are looking at them and know that you have feelings towards them but the main thing is that you have to hide it from that person because you are scared, scared that if they find out, they will reject you or leave you. you have to keep all these emotions and feelings deep in your heart not knowing when your happy time is going to come and when you are going to have a happy ending.

it's even more hard when you are a boy and you are in love with a boy too. this is the hardest moment. you know it's wrong but still you can't stop and control yourself.

you think it's fine but deep inside you know it's wrong, the biggest mistake you have ever done but you can't help but love that person even more. even tho i know i shouldn't love him, i still crave for his touch and crave for him.

-HJ

the blonde haired boy closed his computer and closed his eyes as he sighed deeply. he just posted something which would be criticized. he knew he shouldn't do it but he had to let it out.

suddenly the phone on the bed started to ring. the blonde haired picked up his phone and answered the call.

"jaehyun, where you about to sleep?''

''yes,because it's already 2am and tomorrow i have university. why are you calling sangyeon?''

''well, just wanted to know how you were doing, nothing much''

"okay then, i'm fine, now goodnight''

jaehyun hung up and curled in the blankets. he closed his eyes tightly and fell asleep.

07:00

the alarm was about to went off when finally jaehyun woke up. he lazily pulled his body from the bed and sat up, looking outside from the window.

the blonde haired stood up and went in the bathroom. he turned on the shower and took a quick one. after he was finished taking shower, he wore his clothes which were hung on the chair. black ripped jeans, white sweater with turtleneck and brown coat.

jaehyun went down in the kitchen and took his medcine from the cupboard and put it in his bag. one last time he looked in the mirror, fixed his blonde hair and left.

only thirty minutes passed and jaehyun was at the university. he hurriedly ran up to the second floor and went in his class. when he went in, he immediately searched for his friend who was sitting with his earphones plugged in his ears.

''mwohaseyo?'' he knew how much his friend hated this word, so he teased him.

"hyung, you really had to say it?'' the dark blue haired took out his books from the bag and looked at the blondie.

''i'm sorry." jaehyun mockingly smiled. ''juyeon, how about we eat something after our class?''

''okay'' the younger said without looking at the other.

jaehyun stared at him with worried look on his face, wondering what is wrong with juyeon because usually he isn't like this. he always goes out with jaehyun and has dinner with him. they even sleepover at each others houses but today he seemed a little bit cold.

"hm, hyung?'' juyeon poked the older's shoulder who was writing something in his notebook.

"what is it?'' he answered without looking up from his notebook.

''did you bring your medicine? you didn't forget it this time right?'' the dark blue haired smiled at jaehyun.

''it's in my bag, don't worry'' jaehyun smiled back and focused on the lecture which has started without him noticing it.

🌇

university finished in the afternoon. all the students were free to go back to their homes and get some rest.

juyeon packed his things in his bag and turned to his left and saw that jaehyun was sleeping. he smiled to himself. the sight in front of him was truly beautiful.

jaehyun's blonde hair was covering his face, juyeon slowly removed the hair and immediately pulled his hand away when he noticed that the blondie was waking up.

"you slept during the lecture'' juyeon looked away and turned his lips into thin line.

jaehyun only sighed and stood up. he packed his books and left with juyeon following him from behind.

they both went out from the building and sat in juyeon's car. the dark blue haired started the engine and headed to the nearest cafe.

juyeon stopped the car and went out. he opened the door for the older and both went in the cafe. they sat down near the window, opposite to each other.

both were chatting and laughing. smiling and admiring each other. feeling comfortable with being by each others' side.

it was already dark. they both stood up and headed to their houses. juyeon dropped jaehyun at his house and left early. the blonde haired opened his empty house's door and entered.

he threw his body on the bed and stayed like that for a while.

but his phone rang.

''sangyeon, why weren't you at the university?'' jaehyun mumbled from the pillow.

''sorry, i fell asleep'' the person from the other side of the call laughed.

''you always fall asleep"

''jaehyun, are you okay?''

''i'm fine''

"i know you aren't. you can talk to me anytime'' sangyeon's voice was soft, it made jaehyun sad.

''thanks, i have to go. see you tomorrow'' he hung up and turned his phone's power off.

after lying down on the bed without moving a single muscle, jaehyun stood up and opened his computer.
he checked his post's comments and not surprised that some criticized him and some encouraged him.

he sighed, closed his eyes and leaned his head on the wall.

''never thought that it would be that hard'' the blondie smiled bitterly and closed his computer.

right, he has never thought that loving someone was that hard, but loving a friend, loving someone who is the same gender as you was the hardest. he knew everything would be upside down but he still chose this way.

ーTBCー