I HATE YOU

9

Ella POV

I was sitting on the couch in the living room ,there was some movie playing on the tv while jake was in the kitchen busy making pop corn
The game week was over and he wanted to makeup for the time he wasn't there with me
So we were at his home for a movie date
But all this while my mind wandered
to things that happened this past week, from

I have spent my all evenings with Azriah the whole week. I would meet him at his place ,we would end up on his bed or  backseat of my car,then i would leave before my curfew but not before saying i hate you to each other
That was the constant sequence

I did not regret what i did
But i felt low of myself and bad for Jake ,i was basically cheating him ,it was not that i and Azriah were exclusive ,we very much hated each other but  Jake does not deserve this
After all, he have been kind and good to me

I never could understand why i had to do it with Azriah

Was it lust?

Did i want somebody's touch that bad?

But i have a boyfriend and that too a kind ,handsome , smart and golden boy of school

What does it make me?

"Baby is  everything ok?"
Jake bought me back to real world

I looked at his face ,my thought knocking my brain  his voice fading in my ears as i look at him

I moved closer  to him and kissed him ,he reciprocated the kiss

It didn't feel overwhelming like itdid with Azriah

But we continued the kiss

I started removing his shirt

"Baby do you want this,i can wait ,we don't have to rush?"

I gulped looking in his eyes and gave a slight nod which i don't know was a yes or no
I think i just wanted to test my theory
Was i really a whore?

"Are you sure?" He asked again

"Yes" i whispered still unsure

He picked me up in bridal style taking me to his room

He removed his shirt throwing it away and hovering his body over me

He started kissing me
He tried to snuck his tongue which at first i refused but then i gave in
His handed started slide under my shirt and slowly it reached upwards towards my breasts

"No, I can't" i yelled pushing him away so hard that he landed on bed

I don't know what overcame but i was panicking
He stands up and there is a shocked look on his face ,he looked sad but soon went in normal face

I know i have hurt him had

"Hey ,Hey Calm down"
Jake said quickly coming beside me but i resisted his touch

"Did i do something wrong?" He asked sadly

"No,No it's not you its me , I don't deserve you ,i am not good enough for you"i say almost tearing up

"No don't say that ,you are perfect"

"I m not ,i m not even half of it" i say shaking my head

"Hey hey you are the best choice of my life"he said giving me a slight smile

"Only if you knew what i did"

He had.little change of expressions

"It can't be that bad ,i love you and i trust you"

This broke my heart in million ways,i did so wrong ,guilt all over me
Pain crushing my chest and stomach in tight knot
my heart threatening to come out

"I cheated you god damnit ,i cheated ,i m a fucking cheater " i shouted
Tear spilling out

Jake looked beyond broken and it killed me ,i hurt somebody emotionally and. Mentally

I m a fucking bad person , I don't deserve anyone

"You didn't" jake said softly

"I did jake ,i did ,i slept with someone while you were away ,i m a chea-ter" my word muffled as i break down completely

Jake seemed shocked ,
broken like he would just burst out any moment

"Leave" he said in a monotonous straight voice

I stood there looking at him

" Leave ,its over " he yelled and i shuddered a little

I still stood there looking at him

The next moment he grabbed me by my hand tightly ,dragging me all the way to house door leaving me out all alone
He slammed the door at my face

I fell crying on his door step

I sat there for half an hour
I could hear things being broken upstairs, i got up and started walking back  messaging on my way

I was on the main road when a bike came roaring towards me

It stoped beside me

The person got down
A figure was now standing in front of me

I looked at his grey eyes
Wrapping my arms around him i burst crying
I kept on crying

"I told jake i cheated" i murmured

i felt his hand around my waist hugging me tightly

A jacket came over around me and then Azriah took me to the bike

"Lets go home" he said as he sat on the bike

I sat behind him hugging him tightly

He drove the bike at full speed ,the air striking me as my face turn cold ,my tears formed puddle over his white shirt

Soon we were in front of his house

He parked his bike and scooped me gently in his arms taking me to his room
He sat me at the bed and went to his closet bringing pair of clothes

Sitting beside me he changed my clothes into  comfortable ones
I just sat in my grief

He then changed his clothes

He reached the other end of the bed

"Sleep" he said gently

I laid  beside him snuggling closer to his bare chest and wrapping my arm around his torso

He slid his arm under my head and held me tightly with his arms
His feet tangled with mine

And slowly i drifted to sleep

_______________________________________

A long chapter finally

How do you like it till now?

What do you think of Ella and her relationship with Azriah?

How do you feel for Jake?