Universal Merlin

1.000

This is for those who do not know me, I am 15 years old soon to be 16, with short choppy black-brown hair and of a medium height, which is the shame of my existence and will forever be left not mentioned in detail. My eyes,  gray like the sky filled with clouds, nothing could make my face and appearance duller. My appearance was that of an ordinary average person that walked the streets. Unnoticed, ghost-like, invisible, unrecognizable to any memory yet memorable only for a pale appearance. This would include, the people in charge of where I lived, the orphanage in the middle of nowhere.  Even they forgot my existence, that being the reason why I am still stuck there after all this time.  With no chance of ever being taken away, I mean I could run away but...

My life was plain and nothing stood out about me, I was just a background character to all the lives around me. I was a fog to others but , they could not see through me but I was still there. They could not walk through me but I could stand right next to them and be forgotten.

I remember once, I climbed the tree next to the entrance of the orphanage, I sat in plain sight on a branch waiting. I expected the adults to notice and to get yelled at. I eventually fell asleep, and when I woke up, I found that I was locked outside at night. I slept in front of the door until morning when one of the other children went out to play. They went and told an adult who came running to bring me inside, for I had developed a fever. They cared for me for a little bit then forgot to check in on me. I believe that that is the only and last time I was ever cared for as a child.

My grades were average my teachers never remembered my name even during attendance ,everyone forgot me until then really, and then it was like, "Oh yeah that kid, when did he get here? Has he always been in this class? Who is he again?"  It was annoying to death with this every day all day , like a never ending clock.

I had no friends and my forgetful caretakers were in charge of the orphanage that I live in. The orphanage was a miserable crumbling old building. It had a dreary appearance it looked like a haunted building that you would expect ghosts to come out of. Though I never saw them I still thought that I could feel them there. Bringing a cold chill down my spine and drafts of wind through the windows. That came to me to tell me that they still existed even if I could not touch them.

I had never fit in anywhere. I was like I was always standing in a place I was not supposed to be, I was out of my element in a time that I did not exist in, like a ghost who did not belong. I once tried it out to see if I could Phase through walls, I ran right into it causing a nasty bruise on m face for months.

What I wanted was a place, a place where I could fit in, a place that seemed natural, a place where I stood out, a place where I was the main character. Funny, that this is coming from me I know, I don't seem the sort.

I write this last entry in my Journal to remember what my life was like, what my life is like, what I never had, and what I currently don't have: family, friends, connections, interactions, a place where I fit in, a place where I belong. As a reminder that the nothing that I am now, will look back one day to change that. I plan to bury it and its contents down in the dirt by a tree in the park. One day I will look and wonder how my life was ever like this...I hope.  I do not plan to stay in this world or the next for that matter, I will stay where I see fit. If time travel was ever a thing, I might even come back to this moment to remember what it was like to have nothing.

-Merlin Same Dalno