Thug Life... Or Nahh?

Chapter 14: Picture Me Rollin

Picture me rollin in my 500 Benz

I got no love for these niggaz, there's no need to be friends

They got me under surveillance, that's what somebody be tellin

Know there's dope bein sold, but +I+ ain't the one sellin!

Don't want to be another number

I got a fuckin gang of weed to keep from goin under

The federales wanna see me dead - niggaz put prices on my head

Now I got two Rottwillers by me bed, I feed em lead

Now I'm released, how will I live? Will God forgive me

for all the dirt a nigga did, to feed kids?

September 7, 1996

AJ stood at the sink washing dishes when Tupac came downstairs one night. He cleared his throat to get her to turn around.

"Ahem."

She spun around and saw him grinning and geed up.

"Where you going?”

"My mans got some tickets to the Mike Tyson fight."

AJ froze. She knew the date and she knew what was supposed to happen if Tupac went to that fight.

"Umm babe you sure you wanna go to that fight? You don't wanna spend the night with me?"

He walked over and kissed her on top of the head. "No offense Ma but I can chill with you any night. How often do I get tickets to see Mike Tyson?"

AJ tried again. "Well what if I go with you? I got time to get dressed right?"

Pac shook his head. "You know we can't do that. Shit getting too heavy with Biggie and all them other coward mother fuckers. I can't have you out like that in case some shit pop off."

"So its not too dangerous for you but its too dangerous for me?" AJ pouted and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Exactly. I knew I loved you for a reason. You smart and sexy." He smacked her on the ass and started walking towards the door.

AJ sighed. She guessed she just had to let history happen. She walked over and grabbed Tupac's hand. He looked down and her.

"Wassup man?"

AJ just stood on her tiptoes and gave him and long deep kiss, rubbing her hands across his head and down his body. Eventually he broke the kiss and smiled down at her.

"Well damn. If you gone do it like that then a nigga might never leave home."

AJ gave him a small sad smile. "I love you more than anything baby. Just in case something happen tonight I want you to know that."

He popped his lips and rolled his eyes playfully at her. "Girl I'm coming home to you. Don't even worry about that. But I love you too. More than you know."

He kissed her head one more time then walked out the door. AJ sighed then went and sat on the couch with the phone in her lap. She was already prepared for the devastating phone call she knew she was gonna receive later.

At about midnight the phone rang. AJ took a deep breath then picked it up.

"Hello?" She hated how dead and depressed her voice sounded.

Nobody said anything but she could hear someone crying in the background.

"Hello?" She said again.

"AJ?" It was Miss Afeni, Tupac's mother. "Baby you gotta get to the hospital right now. Tupac was shot and its not looking good for him baby. I need you and he needs you more than ever right now."

"I'm on my way Miss Afeni. We'll get thru this together Mama."

AJ hung up and drug herself out the car so she could go say good bye to the love of her life.

                      * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

AJ sat with Tupac for the next 6 days. Not crying, just talking to him. Telling him how much she loved him but if he was in too much pain, she would understand if he decided it was time to go.

She was talking when she heard a moan come from the bed. She looked over and saw Tupac's eyes fluttering open for the first time since she'd been there. There were swollen and red but those were still the big brown eyes she knew and loved. She bent over so they were at eye level and smiled at him.

"Hey babe. I guess you heard everything I've been saying so I'm not gonna repeat myself. But I love you babe. More than anything. And if this is all the time that we got to spend together then I'm glad we had it. It wasn't long but you gave me some of the best years of my life. And if you're in too much pain and you wanna leave, I'll be okay. I promise." She leaned closer and kissed him on the lips.

Just then the monitor next to his bed started making loud noises. The doctor and nurses rushed in and asked AJ to leave. She went out in the hallway and sat by the door.

A few minutes later , a doctor came out and asked to speak with Afeni. AJ picked up the words internal hemorrhaging. Afeni listened to the doctor for a few more minutes and when he asked her a question, she looked towards AJ then nodded her head in a defeated way. The doctor put his arm around her shoulder then led her into her son's room.

AJ put her face in her hands. About 45 minutes later, she felt someone come and sit beside her. She looked up and saw Afeni with a tear stained face. "He's gone..." She sobbed then laid her head on AJ's shoulder.

A week later,

AJ sat quietly in her black dress, hat and shades next to Afeni, holding her hand so she'd be strong. They listened to the preacher go on and on about the tragedy of losing such a promising life so soon. When they lowered Tupac's casket into the ground they each threw in a flower and a handful of dirt.

After the funeral was over, AJ excused herself and told Afeni she just wanted to be alone. She politely accepted hugs and kind words from her late husband's friends and associates. When she finally made her way to the edge of the cemetery, she saw Shaundra leaning against a black car.

She walked around to the passenger side and got in. Shaundra got in and silently drove home.

AJ and Shaundra walked up to her room. AJ took off her hat and shades and turned around to face her mom/best friend. Shaundra finally saw the tears running down her face. She wrapped AJ up in a big hug. No words had to be said. She knew the pain she was going through and knew just having someone to hold her should help some.

When she finally let go, AJ turned back the covers on Shaundra's bes and laid down. Her heart hurt so bad and sleep was the cure for everything......

Ughhhh this was terrible. And I'm such a big baby, I was crying and typing at the same time. Get it together Mama. Very sad guys. And its only one chapter left. I'm not going easy on you either. The last few chapters I'm going STRAIGHT for your heartstrings. So read and vote and comment and message and all that other stuff I like. And don't forget to tune in next Sunday for my grand finale