The Shattered Path

Chapter 38 - The Darkness

Aerham pulled his fur blanket tighter around his shoulders. The small fire in the hearth did little to warm the room against the cold night pouring through the open window. He thought about closing the shutters and moving away, but he continued to stand there gazing into the darkness. He could hear occasional bursts of laughter or shouting from the meeting den, but the village was otherwise lost in the night. The mountains blocked most of the stars and the moon. Yet, no matter how high the mountains loomed, or how much sky they blocked, the valley would never be as dark as the cells below the Fortress of Light. And it would never be as silent.

Aerham found no joy in his freedom, just relief. It seemed that his wrongful imprisonment had lasted for years, though he knew it had only been a matter of weeks. Rest and hearty meals served by the Merthians had returned a great deal of his strength, though he was burdened with exhaustion that sustenance could not relieve. It would be a long time before recent events eased from his mind.

Aerham knew that the Lady of Light was testing him for some great task. Yet, he had doubted himself over the past few days. He couldn't shake the feeling that he had already failed the Blessed Lady's test; or worse, that there never had been a test and his life had simply fallen apart for no reason. He was not a fool. If Maeshana had been the messenger he had believed her to be, then she would not have denied it so vehemently. He did feel guilt over these thoughts, however. Did he think he had the right to question the Lady of Light? It was hard not to question the Bright Lady's divine motives for everything that had happened. He wanted to hold on to his unbending devotion to her, and he assumed that would allow for the occasional wandering thought. She was an understanding and wise goddess, after all.

How could Aerham not question his faith? His father had been killed by the Erinyrians while the Brotherhood had avoided the fight and then he had been exiled by the Brotherhood for trying to help his father. Uth Vaedis had been murdered for standing up for him and his father. Now, the Chosen Order of Justice, devoted to the god of justice Rastan, was to assume control of the Fortress of the Light. The irony was not lost on him. He had believed there was no justice in the fortress. Now, there would be justice; the Chosen Order of Justice.

These things could not be part of some divine plan. Yet they had to be. If these were not the wishes of Ravyneira, then why would she not work to prevent them? Why would she not protect her followers from harm? He did not like to question the will of Lady of Light, but he had great difficulty understanding why these things had happened. He had prayed for guidance many times. The only answer he had received had been silence; until Maeshana had appeared in the dungeons. Yet she claimed to serve another and denied having been sent by the Lady of Light. He had considered that the Lady had sent her to him, as part of some greater plan, and even she was unaware. He had also considered the possibility that the Blessed Lady had done nothing and did not care what happened to any of them. That last possibility made him sick just thinking about it.

As always when these doubts arose over the past days, Aerham took a deep breath and told himself he would keep his faith in the Lady of Light. He knew his father would never have given up. She had grand designs for him and the Brotherhood. These dark times would turn to serve some greater purpose and everyone would be better off when it was over with. He knew that the Lady of Light had not deserted him and she watched over him.

"Without the light, you could not see," said the remembered voice in his head. "But just because there is light, does not mean you will."

Those had been the words his father had used to explain that he should not expect to always understand everything. He missed the man. He constantly wrestled with the desire to return to the fortress and kill Uth Garenthil for not wanting to help his father. In truth, his father's death had nothing to do with Uth Garenthil. Aerham was well aware that they could not have reached his father's estate in time. Though not directly responsible, Uth Garenthil had not wanted to help in any case. In fact, he had seemed frightened of the idea. It was the memory of the coward in his shining armor ordering the troops to turn around that made Aerham want to kill the man. The Lady of Light forbade revenge, so he had always been taught. Truthfully, it wouldn't be revenge since Uth Garenthil had not been responsible for the death. He did not know what to call it.