The Vamps Sickfics & One Shots

2. James (REQUEST) :: Eyes Wide Shut In Fast Cars, Dreaming

Requested by @FireInTheWriter

Eurie: So I kinda ended up centering this around James and his struggle so I hope you don't mine and I'm sorry this literally took like a decade to get out. Also this is one of my favorite songs because the line that's the title of this chapter is just beautiful. Side note, I know James is like the "mean" one again. I swear, I literally love him with my entire heart. I just took inspiration from when he had a broken wrist and said he began to hate being in the band because he didn't write any of the songs

2016
The moment James opened his eyes in the American hotel, a sense of dread filled his mind. Another morning of his brain begging him to go back to sleep, just get a few more hours so he could carry out the day with an actually reasonable amount of rest.

Honestly, James wasn't sure the last time he didn't spend most of the time dragging his body along in a numb state of constant stress and disappointment. Everything he used to really enjoy became the equivalent of school work.

The span of time between going to sleep all the way to lobby call was just never-ending stress of "will I be late?". The car rides to whatever venue they'd be preforming in became an episode of "what will I mess up?". With this all happening in his head in just a day, James would be so worn out when it was sound check and he'd just be going through the motions on stage. He no longer found it in him to enjoy being on stage.

He doesn't fully know when it fell apart in his mind. James is living the life that he's wanted since he could speak and now he isn't sure if its a nightmare or a lost dream. It has crossed his mind a few times. Maybe the band just isn't his thing anymore. Is that why he is so damn miserable practically every moment of the day? Does he want to leave the band? But he's playing music with his best friends. Why on earth would he want to leave that all behind?

"Wakey, wakey," James' mindlessly muttered as he chucked a pillow to the bed adjacent to his own, successfully hitting the other sleeping person in the hotel room.

"Piss off," Tristan mumbled into the pillow he'd just been hit with. James may have a mental crisis every morning. But he was still better at waking up than all three other members of The Vamps combined. But, begrudgingly, the blonde rose from his slumbers to prepare for the show they had that night in Argentina.

It's not like the internal struggles James was facing were invisible to Brad, Connor, and Tristan. Every single one of them could tell he was unhappy. Spend every moment with someone for the past four to five years and they become an open book. He was more irritable this year, easily aggravated, and they all saw through his fake smiles he put on to get through the nights.

But what do you say to your best friend who's falling apart? It became an unspoken agreement amongst the three that they'd wait for James to come to them when he was ready. That was no doubt not the best decision. But the one time Connor tried questioning James, he completely closed up. All it made him do was work harder that day to fake being happy. So, they continue to carry on, acting as if they don't notice the bags underneath James' eyes signifying he doesn't get nearly enough sleep and the shift from real smiles to fake ones.

"Blueberry muffin or-" Tristan paused to fake a vomit imitation. "oatmeal raisin muffin." James was snapped out of his thoughts, or stresses of what today might bring by the question. Shooting Tristan a look to signify James had absolutely no clue what he'd just said, Tristan repeated the question, adding that Joe wants to know because he stopped off at a bakery to get breakfast for them.

"If you'll kindly keep down your dinner from last night, tell him I would like the oatmeal raisin muffin." Tristan repeated his previous actions to mock James' insistence on eating healthy all the time.