It's been a few months since my wedding was called off. There's not much to say about it. Beam said he needed some space, which I gave him to do what he wanted to do. We've been together for almost 8 years and if he's getting cold feet now, it really wasn't meant to be. Honestly, it was the "Hey Babe" on social media that really did it for me. The fact that he had the audacity to lie to me saying that his trip away from me was to think and not anything else, really pisses me off. Once I accidentally saw the message, more excuses came out but I told him to save the bullshit. I only wanted to know one thing and one thing only, "Were you with this person on your one week trip?" He hesitated and nodded. After that, I packed up, left, and never returned.
It was painfully hard, since the past 8 years, he was a consistency in my life. Adapting to living alone was painstakingly hard as everything I did was always for two. Going to eat was lonely, going to the movies was lonely, honestly, everything was lonely especially the nights. Alone in the dark were when the tears fell as every time I close my eyes there were memories of us or his face. The anxiety attacks were the worse. Locking myself up in the closet, crying my eyes out, grasping and clutching my broken heart, trying to breathe when the cries became too much. The desire to live during these moments was almost completely dwindling. It was one of these moments that I was crying into the chest of my best friend and clutching onto him for dear life that I told myself, "who the fuck was he to make me like this? I'm strong and I'm better. I'm only going to get better and only going to get stronger. The only person that could fix this is me!" This was my self-motivation to get back on my feet. I have people who care for me and people who love me. I'm not going to let anyone bring me down and I'm not going to let this be a burden on my friends and family. From that moment on, I'm slowly on the road to recovery.
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Blessing in Disguise!
FanfictionIt was a blessing in disguise! This is a fictional story based on the characters of the 2 Moons novel. All the characters belong to the author, Chiffon_cake! Photo credits to original uploader. I only used it to make the cover!
