Night Changes // l.s.

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[hAPPY 23rd LOUIS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH 😍❤️🙅🙈😘🎉🎁

enjoy]

It was three in the morning and Louis was choking back tears.

He felt sick. That type of sick he only feels on days like today. Fidgety hands, twisty stomach, cold sweats. It was too early, but he couldn't sleep, not with a day like this right around the corner.

In two hours, Harry is going to wake up and leave him for five months. One-hundred and fifty-three days Harry would travel throughout Afghanistan. To Louis, one-hundred and fifty-three days was a lifetime. He swallows, takes a deep breath and rests his head back against the wall, shuts his eyes for a moment. He didn't sleep all night, of course, and it's catching up with him now.

He supposes he should take the opportunity to get used to the silence.

Of course, at that moment Louis hears the sliding door move just a fraction, and looks up. Harry's poking his head through the door, watching him with this unbearably fond look on his face.

"What are you doing out here so early? It's ass-crack dawn," Harry mumbled sleepily, Louis had to strain to hear him because his voice is so deep and husky.

He's gonna miss that.

Louis didn't respond and Harry understood what the problem was. He puffed out an "oh" and took his usual long strides to stand in front of Louis. He's smiling, small and retrospective. Louis' chest feels preemptively tight, but it's not time for that yet.

"Hey," Harry says, face lighting up in a smile, "I love you."

Louis rolls his eyes and laughs; they're always so, so ridiculous on mornings like this. And this isn't even the worst of it; Harry's only been home for two weeks on his mid-tour respite. Usually, they'd bicker and banter over what to watch and what to eat, but on days like this, it's kisses and "I love you's" at one in the morning.

He's gonna miss that.

"How's the walking?" Harry said, a shit-eating grin on his face. Classic Harry; changing the conversation.

"Pretty horrendous actually," Louis laughed.

The night before days like these are the best. Slow, passionate, rough, hard, meaningful, Harry. All the things Louis loved in one night.

"Sorry," Harry said, still smiling. He moved into the hammock that awkwardly rested on Louis' balcony ("let's put it on the balcony, Lou, so you can be the only cool guy with one") and Louis shuffled over quickly so he can lay, coddling into Harry's broad chest and strong arms.

"You know you aren't, wanker," Louis smiled lazily at his love. Louis loved lazy, wandering arms, and raspy voices, and warm pecks.

He's gonna miss this.

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0630

There are too many clocks at the base, Louis decides. Always have been, since the first time he came here to see Harry off. He's thankful Harry's family said their parting words yesterday, giving Louis one last day with Harry himself. He glances round the holding room for a second, takes in the all too familiar sight.

All the boys in uniform, kissing teary girlfriends goodbye, hugging small kids while their wives watch on, lips pressed into a tight smile and eyes worried. From, six till six thirty, the place is generally chaos, everyone running around and saying hello and goodbye, last minute checks and packing. But at that half hour mark the shift always comes in; it gets quieter and a little more subdued and if they're anything like Louis', everyone's hearts get a little heavier, it becomes a little harder to breathe and think straight and put one foot in front of the other without falling.