Chapter Thirty Eight

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He's still in love with Louis, he realizes. Even after the fights, the lack of communication, and not seeing Louis for the past four months, but he's okay with it. He still loves him, more and more each day, he supposes.

It's final week and exams are running through in the main hall and G block, where Harry knows Louis will be sitting right now completing a Maths exam. Harry had finished his for the year and is sitting at home with the phone pressed to his ear, speaking to Gemma who had plans for her and Harry to go to a music festival up north in January. 

But Harry has plans too. He wants to try make it up to Louis, maybe say a few goodbyes before he does leave to college. He's turning eighteen next week. Eighteen. He's going to be free from family, going to be free from any restraint and Louis is going to be the happiest he's ever been, and it won't be the fake happy he once told Harry about. Truly happy. 

That'll be the time Harry strikes.

But right now, he's just chilling, thinking about Louis every few seconds instead of sex. Or sometimes sex with Louis but no one needs to know about that. He hangs up on Gemma before he begins babbling about how he wished Louis was by his side right now. Instead, he's stuck with Zayn and Liam, snogging it up on the couch just in front of him. Harry pulls a face of disgust and throws a pillow to disband one another from their tongue war.

"If my mum saw that, she would have thrown you both out and dragged you along the gravel, all the way back home," Harry hisses, and Zayn rolls his eyes. Liam scoffs.

"Go make out with the pillow or something," he retorts, and Harry's a stupid thought away from doing just that.

Liam and Zayn have been good, and by good it actually means they've got their shit finally sorted out and they're dating. Boyfriends, they always remark themselves as and Liam's never been happier to use it. As Harry found out, they're that couple who talk way to frequently about sex and always brag about how their relationship is better than anything else in the world. Harry doesn't mind. Seriously. He's not jealous. Definitely. 

Just because he doesn't have Louis, even though he should have tried to get him while he could, doesn't mean anything at all. Harry's just... Harry's lonely.

They end up having constant sleepovers for the rest of the week and graduation for the leavers is a must for Harry to go to. He's never ever missing out on Louis' graduation, because who is he to miss out on his best friend for nine year's best moment of his life? Finishing school. He's hoping Louis is happy. He's probably going to be smiling so wide under the light, saying a sweet speech and leaving with an unforgettable goodbye which everyone would clap and cheer to.

So when Friday comes around and Harry's sitting down next to his mum and Zayn, he notices there's a seat missing when the students are all sitting down on stage for the ceremony. He looks at all the faces and he should have known before he even checked. Louis is not there.

There's a part of Harry's heart that really crumbles because this is graduation. This is a time of his life Louis, or anyone, should miss. Graduation. A sick, sad Louis has to be the only Louis who'd miss this. Louis is sick. Louis is sad. Harry should have known that Louis wasn't going to turn up.

At least Harry knows he made the effort to come watch Louis.

He almost falls asleep during the ceremony and the final rejoice of the students brings Harry to clap loudly and stand up with the crowd. They all leave the hall and the three boys stand around with a smile, watching students hug their parents, families hug other families and oh, Zayn and Liam are snogging by the bushes. He's left to stand alone while Anne runs off and sees Karen. Harry knows he's going to be here for a while.

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