Baatein Ye Kabhi Na

Tale of not-so-popular song but how special this one song once used to be for me. I might even wonder how many of you would have really heard this song but no worries cause if you haven't you are always a few finger tips away from your phone.

This song basically revolves around the deepest feelings of a one-sided lover who finally spill his feelings out,moulding it in the form of a song and sings out to her with a guitar in his hands and mic infront, over her date with some other guy. Note the irony.

Tears welling up in his eyes but he didn't choose to expose them as he prays for the well being of that girl at the same time. The girl watches this scene with her lips shut, perhaps being guilty on breaking his heart or for making him suffer by seeing her with someone else. She steals glances every now & then while spending time and sipping champagne with her new date, somewhere beneath her chest she doesn't feel right about whatever's happening around her. The atmosphere forms in a way as if the girl wants to relent meanwhile pulling off a smile on her lips hesitantly to treat her date decently. The young lad takes her hand into his, his eyes beaming with infinite love for his lady, henceforth breaking the heart of the 'aashiq' into trillion pieces. The girl couldn't swallow the lump in her throat, she tries to free her palms but it seemed like her new date had already fallen for her lately.

The one-sided lover cum singer keeps on singing his heart out, unseeing the other guy and his actions to impress HIS GIRL. With one song he unveils everything that had been piling up in his heart for so long, bearing the brunt of his heart ache of whatever his eyes were witnessing at that spot.

Ask me, a strong urge descended over me to change the entire plot of this song just for the sake of my definition of 'a happy ending'. I could've just let that girl run and fall into the one-sided lover's arms. I wouldn't have cared for that third guy who had dropped into their love story making it worse for both of them, barely doing any good to the human race. I could have just let that girl throw the same champagne she was drinking right onto his face, least assuming the reaction he would had shown later.

I realised that guitar holding guy's love in the truest manner until only when I found myself stuck in the same situation.

That very raw, pure form of 'Love' that writers etch novels on, poets recite poems on, happened to me, my first love when I was a teenage. A literal school romance of a school going girl who felt practically those butterflies just not flying but doing cartwheels every time she saw him, chills running down her spine any moment she had to interact with him face to face, soft breeze blowing off her hair every time her crush was supposed to present something in front of the class, all of these that I experienced, yeah all of these only I felt. As fate predestined, it was just me who fell in love, not the other person, unlike most of the love stories.

After a year of gathering utmost guts and courage I finally decided to confess my feelings to him over a phone chat cause saying those words out to him in person would still had ended up in landing me on a hospital bed due to oxygen cut-off.
I was traveling to one of my cousin's wedding to a nearby city through bus, with phone in my hand I was nervous enough, almost on the brink of having a nervous breakdown because something I've always been poor at is conveying my feelings to people I love. Let alone, this was my first love.

Coincidentally the same song, 'Baatein Ye Kabhi Na' was playing on my headphones in contrast of it's sad theme to that 'romantic' situation. Since I had always loved the lyrics of it as well as it fit apt to what was going inside my heart, I let it play on loop.

'Tujhse mohabbat karte hein jo, kese karein hum tumko bayan'

I felt as if somebody had borrowed my emotions and poured it into this one simple yet profound line.

I proposed him at last. As soon after doing that, I quickly exited from the chat & drowned myself into that immense emotion of love. I kept listening to the same song not less than 40 times.

Regardless a girl proposing a guy is way too marginalised in our society, I least thought about anything else cause something that mattered the most to me was him that time and whoever got to know it afterwards,my response was firm and I sticked to "I'm afraid to lose him", little did my innocent heart know that he was never mine.

That person isn't dear to me anymore ,feelings have faded, time has flown, years have passed, everything has changed, although the song still possess the potential to make me travel back to that day and not to deny, used to leave a teardrop on my cheek long time before. Maybe for a good reason my playlist contains this song no more. Probably my heart doesn't desire to spoil the fresh essence of the song of my 'first flush of love'. And hence, both of them, this song and the person is in distant past now.

Although there are absolutely no regrets or grudge over the person, the song is still left afresh in some parts of me like the same wind blowing in the woods where you strode in your childhood. Something apparently will forever remind me of how it feels being in love more than that of him,it is this song.