Goodbye Kiss

Chapter 2:

"The more time that passes, the more I come to realise you were the chance of a lifetime and I missed." - unknown

Arielle's POV:

"Dear Chase,

Forgive me for not sending you off at the airport today. Because I know that I won't be able to contain my emotions, and I didn't want your last memory of me, to be of my crying face. I have so much to say to you, but I can't seem to put them into words. And frankly, you and I both know that none of this matters now. But I want you to know that you were a significant part of my eighteenth year. Though I have to admit that when I first met you, I hadn't expected us to go this far at all. All I saw was this broken boy with such heavy sadness in his eyes. But it was in those eyes that I saw the endless possibilities that supposedly led to freedom.

I will remember every poetry recital we went to, every film we saw together, and every letter we wrote each other. I am truly happy for you. And I wish that you will find what you're seeking for in New York City. I remember the first time you told me about your dreams, and I remember seeing that glimmer of hope and passion in your eyes. And therefore I cannot be so selfish to ask you to stay for me. For I know what this means to you, it is what you've been waiting for, for your whole life. And now life is taking us to different places. But I don't have any regrets. For I am so grateful to have gotten to know you and to have fallen in love with you for however short amount of time we have met.

And if fate shall permit, I may one day see you again. Someday. In the distant future. And I want you to know that when that day comes, (which it inevitably and eventually will) when the memories we share begin to grow distant and fade, I will continue to remember you for all the highs you've once made me feel. And I hope that you will never forget me too, and how we once spent a year together, beaming in bliss.

wishing you eternal happiness,
-your forever lover, Arielle"

Chase finished reading the letter aloud, and carefully placed it back into the envelope, before setting it down on the table. At this point I could not meet his eyes and so I kept my gaze fixated on the wooden table before me. I vividly remember writing that letter. I remember sitting on my front porch leaning against the parapet, at the same spot where he used to sit and sing me love songs with his guitar. I remember sobbing uncontrollably as my fingers quivered and my vision got clouded by tears, as I wrote the letter. Then the words he had last said to me before he left, came floating back.

5 years ago...

"Just tell me you want me to stay, and I'll stay." he said, taking both my hands in his. I looked up into his teary eyes and desperately held back the tears that threatened to trickle down my cheeks. "Yo-u should go Chase." I said to him, my voice breaking as I averted my gaze, looking everywhere but him. "I- I don't understand..." he trailed off, dropping my hands to tug at his hair in frustration. I turned away, physically unable to face him as the tears that I had been holding back, were finally set free. I exhaled deeply. "Look Chase, I can't promise you that we would have the future that you envision. I can't promise that we are always going to stay together, because we don't know what will happen..." I swallowed, the lump in my throat had made it harder to go on, but I continued, "We may love each other today but we don't know for sure that that is going to be the case years from now. And if that day ever comes I don't want you to look back and regret every single decision you'd made! I can't be so selfish! I can't risk holding you back, knowing that this has been the moment you've been waiting for your whole life!"

"It WAS the moment that I had been waiting for, but that was before I met you!" he yelled, he took a step closer, "You have this fear... this disbelieve in love! You think that every love story is destined to end in tragedy! That every marriage will end in unhappiness or divorce! But Arielle you have to understand that not everyone is like our parents! Not every person who falls in love, falls out of it in misery!"

I shut my eyes and stood in silence. He was right. I was afraid of falling in love. I was afraid of how unpredictable it was. How quickly feelings could change was unthinkable to me. But I was completely in love with this man standing before me. And I loved him enough to want to see him happy. I loved him enough to let him go. He had high hopes. For us. And I don't know what I would do should one day those great expectations fall through and fail to happen. I couldn't take the risk of holding him back from what could possibly be the greatest adventure, the greatest thing he does in his life. Neither one of us could guarantee that we would be headed towards the "happily ever after" that we had imagined. Moreover we were only eighteen, what exactly do we know about love, right? And the last thing I want, is for him to one day drown in regret, like both our parents did. And so I single handedly destroyed what we had by ending it right there and then.

Present...

"Earth to Arielle", Chase says while waving his hands in front of me.

I snap back to reality, plastering a small smile across my face. I inhale sharply before saying, "Well... that was a long time ago huh... it's surprising that you kept this letter" I chuckle lightly, attempting to lighten the atmosphere that had drastically turned solemn.

Chase looked up, his face wore a serious expression, "I've always kept it. In fact I read it whenever I feel like giving up. It serves as a reminder that... that I have already lost something so precious to me, and if I were to give up on theatre too, then everything would've been for naught."

Authors Note:

Hiya lovely readers! I hope that you're enjoying this book thus far. Don't be a silent reader, do leave a vote or a comment if you'd like to, it'd mean so much to me!
- Elissa