Don't Leave Just Yet

Chapter 3

She was so peaceful when she slept. Who would think a girl like this was the main energy source in the house? All she ever did was jump around, annoy me, eat my food, steal my food- not that I mind- ran around school giving the impression that she was my girlfriend. I even got threatened by the guys because she was so "clingy" with me. But at the end of the day, I didn't mind. I had after all promised to look after her.

I was watching Kingsman: The Golden Circle for the twentieth time. She was still sleeping. I was stroking her hair absent mindedly. She had her face buried in my shirt. I heard her moan and I looked down. She was having a bad dream. I stroked her arm to wake her up but she grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I put the TV on mute and jerked her. She was still moaning. I didn't like it. And she wouldn't wake up.

"Alex? Alex?" I kept jerking her. "Alex!"

She opened her eyes and sat up, all flustered and startled. She was gasping for air. IT was like as if she had come back from a run or hike. Suddenly she stopped.

"Toby? Toby!" she shouted. I just stared at her. I couldn't talk nor move. I saw her look sideways and her movements showed pure worry. At least she looked behind and saw me. She didn't spare me a second and tackle hugged me, collapsing into tears.

She thumped her fist on my chest, saying, "Why did you leave me? You promised not to. Then why did you?"

My heart skipped a beat every time she spoke. She was crying. Alex never cries. The last time she cried was when I made that promise a long time ago.

I could feel her weight on me; the weight of all her burdens. I could feel her. I knew her situation and everything but I never had felt her. But now that I saw her collapse in my arms, I could see her. See her past, her present. Feel it in my veins.

I still couldn't touch her. She was still crying on my chest. I didn't have the courage to do it. I clenched my jaws and slowly wrapped my arms around her.

She was fragile. She was a girl. I could feel her body rising and falling. I could feel her warm breathes on my collar bone.

My body relaxed and I gently stroked her hair. She had my T-shirt gathered in her fists. I didn't speak before she stopped crying. I let her vent on me. She needed this. All this time she hid it behind her smile. I couldn't let her do that anymore. Never again.

She stopped crying and her body relaxed. I finally tightened my grip on her and a silence followed. She had her eyes closed. I didn't stop stroking her hair. I could feel her warm breathes and her heart beat. Her heart beat was relaxing.

A few seconds she broke the silence.

"Why did you leave me? Why did you leave me all alone?" she asked and collapsed into tears again.

"Shh, shh." I tried calming her down. "Who said I left? If I did leave, then how am I here?" I asked, quietly.

She sniffled.

"Why don't you ever vent on me?" I asked sternly but gently.

She shook her head.

I sighed. "Can't you see you're hurting yourself? This isn't the Alex I know. My Alex would've come straight at me and thrashed her anger out on me. That's my Alex. I don't know this Alex who kept her emotions in. This isn't my Alex," I said firmly. It took me a minute to realize what I said. Realizing, I blushed a little. "Not my Alex. I mean the Alex I know. You know what I mean," I stammered.

I heard a faint laugh. That was a relief. She didn't say anything but started pulling away. I first hesitated but then went for it. I tightened my grip on her and said, "Stay for a while."

I didn't want to let her go. For some reason, it felt good.

She nodded and wrapped her arms around me again. My heart skipped a beat and started racing. The feeling was new. And why was my heart even racing?

It was only Alex. She has hugged me a lot of times. It wasn't new. But for some reason, a different feeling was taking over my body. I had never felt it towards her before. I knew what the feeling was.

But why her though? Why now? I've been with her for so long, but I never felt it. And now that I saw her, my feelings changed.

The feeling made me hold her tight. Keep her safe.

I looked down at her and saw she had fallen asleep again. She didn't look like she had cried just a minute ago. She smelled of shampoo and perfume.

Slowly I moved sideways, sliding her body slowly off mine. Slowly I pulled away and stood up. I placed a pillow under her head and slowly stepped away from her. I turned off the TV and sat on the nearest sofa.