Asshole an autobiography

Chapter 1 - The Conquering

I am the biggest asshole you would ever meet, you probably wondering why I say that, but there is only one way to understand.

We need to go to the beginning, we need to go back to 08 February 2002. Around 7:00 pm I popped out of my mother's vagina, apparently, I never wanted to come out. There is only one thing I'm proud of about the day I was born, the doctors said I was a girl, but then he looked again and saw I had a penis, and that followed with him saying. "Congratulations its a boy, and he has abnormally large ball sacks". I laughed so hard when I was told, it felt like I had just gotten abs.

3 years later -2005

I had this friend named Ryan, Ryan used to try and push me down a large flight of stairs.

I'm telling you this kid was relentless, my dad uses to stop him from trying to kill me but still tried when we hung out, but the scariest thing that has ever happened was after a day of playing with Ryan I was in bed and woke up around 2:00 am, I got thirsty, so I got out of my single bed and proceeded to the kitchen looking like a zombie out of walking dead, I drink the water out from my hand when done I went to my parents room, I open the door to see there is no one there, "Mom... dad!" I start panicking, my heart rate rises. I start Crying, snot running down my lip. 5 minutes into crying I suddenly stopped, this was when I knew I had to conquer my fears of being alone, feeling lost I got up and ran to my room frantically, panting like an overheating Dog. I put on my shoes and a jacket, my eyes glans over to the corner of the room I see a baseball bat, I contemplated on taking it but I had already had it in my hand before I made up my mind.

Confidently I whisper, "I can do this,... I can do this".

I speed walked to the front door, at this moment all I can think about is that I could possibly die, I open the security gate and then the door, As I step foot out of my house I close the gate and door behind me. The first place I go is neighbors that baby sits me, I walk to the stairs where Ryan tried to push me down, I started walking all the way to the 3rd floor in the teeth-chattering cold, I get to there door-knocking in a panic. The wife opens the door and says I can come in, as I entered I hear a deep Irish voice say, "Good morning" its the husband playing PlayStation

1H30M later

My parents pick me up from there house and took me to bed. what I learned that day was that I need to protect my self, people can strand you at any time and in any situation conquer what makes your week to become strong.