His Majesty's Ballerina

PART XIV -- Almost Over

"Miss. James, you're a talented dancer, there's no question about it you just lack of passion,"

It felt like a slap by tons of sand bags when Kitty heard from the Director that she was lack of passion. Her passion of ballet was one of the thing that drove her to keep forward regardless of the obstacles in her way, and God knows how much obstacles she had to overcome just to be where she was right now. Her passion of ballet also was one of the thing that Brad was proud of her for and now to be told that she was lack of it was an insult as well as a wakeup call.

However, Kitty knew that once Mr. O'Hare has made up his mind, it will stay that way unless Kitty worked very hard to changed it but as of right now, she had no time to worked hard for ballet or Mr. O'Hare. She was on her way to be the Queen and for that she has all of her passion directed at. That didn't mean that she was less sad. Her sadness was profound, the loss of her whole world hurt her so much.

She felt like someone just ripped half of who she was and left herself half empty. She had lost Brad that left a hole in her heart and now she has lost ballet that left herself empty.

Kitty walked out of the royal opera house defeated and out of will. The wound sting even more when she caught a glimpse of the royal opera house stage. The place she always called home, the place where Brad and her met, the place that she so cherished with all her heart. It felt like a salt has been added to her open wound.

"Mrs. Carson, I have lost everything. First, I have lost the love of my life and now, I have lost my entire world. And the worst thing is, sometimes I wonder to myself whether this is worth it or not," Kitty wiped her tears.

Lately, ever since Brad left, Kitty has found herself becoming a cry baby. She cried all the time when she was alone.

Kitty put the new bouquet of fresh white daisies in Mrs. Carson's graveyard to change the drying bouquet of sunflower that she had brought last week. The fact that she was changing her own flower made the reality that Brad has left even more real and painful.

"I need Brad, right now, Oh, Mrs. Carson," Kitty sobbed. "I wish you could tell Brad to come back. I wish you could tell him how much I miss him,"

After visiting Mrs. Carson's graveyard, Kitty went to the pier where Brad used to take her every time she was down and blue.

Brad who was always so faithfully cheered her up, so loyal to her, so in love with her. He was her only supporter and she loved seeking comfort in him because she knew she would always get it. But now, he had gone away, her ballet has gone as well and Kitty was left with only her tricked and tact to make sure that she become the Queen.

However, now, even Kitty had to ask herself if being a Queen would really make her happy? Would it fill the hole that Brad and ballet had left her with? Would it be worth losing herself in the end?

2 weeks after she was fired, Kitty woke up with a shock when she browse the internet and found that her engagement to Robert had leaked to the media and it had became a big, shocking news that attracted so many attentions.

"The leaked is said to be from the royal ballet company," said Tommy.

He looked at Kitty with piercing eyes. Kitty knew exactly that Tommy hated her and accusing her of leaking the engagement news by herself.

Robert had came to Kitty's apartment with Tommy when the news broke out. Tommy had said that he suspected that Kitty knew something about it and Robert rushed to Kitty, demanded explanation. Even Robert with all of his crazy, addicted mind to Kitty, still couldn't afford to have media frenzy in his yard especially when he was not ready to announce anything. And this leaked enraged Robert.