When I say enough, I don't really mean it. I've said the same word all over but, there's always lies in it. I occasionally say enough when and only when I'm tired, but that really doesn't mean it's enough. All of it.
If you will ask me why I'm lying whenever I say enough? Because in that instance, I'd feel like I really need to quit, and later then will I realize that there I am again, mystified while fighting for the same reason that maybe, yes maybe, I could still able to fix the pieces and fit them back into their places.
I was very reckless in myself, very adamant about my attitude and my feelings. Even though I was trying so hard to accept the thought that I really need to change myself and stop worrying about everything at least for a mean time, helplessly I can't.
My body was horrified and begging for me to stop what I'm doing and let myself calm and rest. My blood was always boiling, always making me feel awake and ready to sought another battle with my feelings. My fleshes hurt so bad, but I can feel numbness crawling from deep within.
Sadly, I need to continue this battle in a hope that someday, favor will turn face-to-face with me and will finally be in my side. Again. But right now, everything's blurry so I have to climb higher mountains to see the road ahead, and for the blur to slowly lift up.
