The Heart Wants, What The Heart Wants

Trust my Heart and Take a Chance

Demi's POV

I got settled onto the plane, in my seat. Being nervous right now, is the understatement of the year. My heart is beating wildly, and my mind is running. I am thinking back on the last week, how I prepared for this meeting with Jenn, after I broke up with Joe.

Flashback:

After I finally finished cooking, I set the table, and called out to Joe, "Babe, dinners ready." I said. I was nervous, but I was trying not to let it show. 'This is it.' I thought to myself. I knew I needed to do this, it wasn't for her, regardless if I ended up with her or not, I couldn't lie to myself, or him, anymore.

Joe came into the dining room, smiling his boyish smile, as he kissed me on the cheek, "This looks delicious, baby, thank you." He said, as he sat down. He began to fill his plate up, smiling at me once in a while. Then he began to eat, as I watched him for a moment, before I began to fill up my plate and eat along with him.

After we ate I cleaned up and sat across from him again, "Joe, we need to talk." I said, as I looked into his eyes, I could sense his concern.

"Is everything okay, Demi?" Joe asked.

I nodded, while I took in a deep breath, "I haven't been honest with you and you deserve the truth. Hell, I deserve to tell myself the truth, after denying it for so long." I looked at Joe, and he nodded while keeping eye contact with me. "I'm gay." I told him, calmly, but firmly, letting him know that I wasn't lying.

Joe looked at me, and suddenly started laughing, loudly. It surprised me, to be honest, I was confused. "Demi, I know that!" Joe said. I gave him a questioning look, as he continued, "I've known about for as long as I've known you, I knew you didn't want to admit it to you, so when I asked you out, I was surprised you said yes. I guess at the same time I wasn't surprised, because I knew you were denying it. What I am surprised about, is how long you've lasted in this relationship with telling me. It's fine Dems, I've been in a serious relationship with someone else anyway. So I'm not bothered by it." He said, looking calm.

I was completely stunned, "So, your not --" I stopped mid sentence when I realized what he just said, "Wait, what?! You've been cheating on me? For a year?!" I exclaimed. I had to admit, I was hurt by it, not because I was in love with him or anything, but because in a way, he still betrayed me. I couldn't lie, it stung. "Wow, Joseph, I - just - but - get out!" I said suddenly, pointing to the door.

Joe stood up, and shrugged, looking at me with no shame, "Didn't think you'd be this mad, but whatever, hope you find what your truly looking for. Thank you for finally telling me, I didn't know how much longer I could do this with you." He said, as he squeezed my shoulder and walked out.

I had recovered quickly after he left, I couldn't blame him too much. I betrayed him as well, so I couldn't be completely mad at him. I had decided to ask Jordan if she knew where Jenn was. She had told me, she was in Ft. Lauderdale, visiting her best friend and her niece. I had practically begged Jordan to let me have Jenn's best friends number, once she finally gave it to me, I had immediately texted her. Throughout the week, I was preparing the song that I was going to sing to her, while Candyce was helping me keep this a secret. I had hoped all week this would show Jenn, that I cared about her enough to take this risk, opening my heart to her.

As the place got closer to its destination, I had willed myself to calm down. I couldn't over think this, whatever happens, happens. I told myself that I should prepare for the worst, because I knew how Jenn was, she wasn't the relationship type. I finally landed, I got myself a rental car, and texted Candyce to let her know I was here. She texted me her address and told me it was fine if I came tonight. I was grateful, because I didn't think I could waste another moment.