Should Not Fall Deeply

Chapter 7

Chapter 7
Ghosted

Naging mabilis ang mga araw na sumunod.  When Kairon took the day off the last time, I didn't think it would be the last. That's probably the main reason why we hung out together for that day. Huli na pala 'yon. Mas naging bihira na ang pagkikita namin. Hindi rin kami ga'nong nakakapag-usap sa social media accounts. He's barely active. Sometimes late at night I would stare at his profile when I couldn't sleep. Hanggang sa makatulog na lang ako at magigising ako na wala pa rin siyang mensahe. I am busy but so was he, very. We are both a hardworking person and I understood it.

Kahit pa minsan gustong-gusto ko na pindutin ang call button at tawagan siya. Kahit pa kating-kati na ako iupdate siya sa mga pagkain ko ng breakfast, lunch, at dinner.. I just suppressed myself. These feelings should be contained, I know. But I want to hang out with him late at night again. Iaangkas ako sa kanyang motorsiklo, kakain kami sa isang convenience store. Manonood sa mga nagniningningang mga bituin sa ilalim ng tahimik at madilim na gabi. I want to do those things with him again.

"You're very beautiful, Iris. I wasn't wrong to give this offer to you. You're my first and only option," said by the renowned CEO of Klu Cosmetics, Ms. Amara Levi, one day when she visited the set.

I sighed as I diverted my thoughts back to reality. Maaga pa. Pinakatitigan ko ang babae sa aking harapan. Ang balingkinitan nitong katawan ay agaw-pansin. Even in her mid 40s, she still looked young. Humalukipkip ako. This is the last shoot we will do. Pagkatapos ay editing na. Halos aligaga ang lahat habang inaayos ang mga dapat ayusin sa set. The project has been smooth so far. I realised I should be grateful at least after working with this people. They're very professional. Iba ang kalidad ng trabaho.

"I am grateful to be chosen to endorse your brand, Ms. Levi." Her remarks made me smile a little. I cemented my career and this is the fruit of my success. Masarap talagang matamasa ang mga bagay na pinaghirapan sa buhay. I may be struggling financially but at some point, I can truly say I did it. Naging independent ako. Tumayo ako gamit ang sarili kong mga paa nang hindi umaasa sa iba, lalo na sa aking mga magulang.

Now I realised... it's not the wealth that always counts. The experiences and lessons we have picked up along the labyrinthine journey we took do possess meaning and value more.

Pabiro itong tumawa. "Naku! Don't flatter me. You're one of the most sought after models in the world! We are the ones grateful to have you."

But then, no matter how we feel we have everything that there is, there's a feeling of emptiness inside us that its silence is crackling up within. Parang may kulang pa rin. Parang may hindi pa rin napupunan. Maybe that's just me, maybe others feel the same way, too. And the next thing we'd do is seek what has been missing all along until we reach it. Then, we would want to have it, whatever it is, as to our heart's content.

"Miss Alonzo, delivery po." Napamaang ako sa biglaang turan ng kararating lang na delivery man. Pinagtitinginan ito habang naglalakad palapit sa akin. I noticed what he was holding. It's a bouquet of flowers. He's called my name.

I was so confused when he reached me. "For me?"

"Yes, Maam. Pakipirmahan na lang po rito," bagaman nagtatakha ay pinirmahan ko pa rin ang ibinigay nito. He then handed me a bouquet of flowers in the blue scheme, irises.

Namamanghang sinuri ito ni Ms. Amara Levi at tinitigan. "Wow. I heard the rumours but I didn't believe it to be true..." I can't believe it either. But those words made me think of someone. Si Kairon. Siya lang naman ang posibleng magbigay ng bulaklak sa akin dahil siya lang ang lalaking naging malapit sa akin nitong huling ilang linggo. "Ang swerte mo masyado, ha!"

Nagsilapitan na rin ang ibang staff na halos mabali ang leeg kasusuri ng bulaklak na pinadala. Kahit si Direk Roki ay nakikiusyoso. Todo tanong kung kanino galing ang bulaklak, ang iba'y kinikilig pa. I looked up and found Patriya glaring at me. I couldn't care less. Nagpaalam ako sa mga kasama saka naglakad na lang ako papasok sa dressing room habang laman ng isip kung sino ang may dala nito.