The sound of the rain calmed my nerves as I sat in the middle of nowhere. I was sick and tired of being treated like an outcast. My parents no longer treated me as a daughter, I was just a nobody living in their house and I started to realise that society had gotten to them. I will admit that it also had gotten to me. But I've realised now that society does not define me as a person. I am me. They cannot tell me what to do and what not to do, including my parents. I made the decision to run away from everything. It's not like they will realise that I'm gone.
I wish I could go back in time and let the people who I hurt know that I really loved them, but that would never happen because they no longer believe in me.
A few months ago......
"If you want to be treated like our daughter then I would like to see your grades going up" my mother screamed at my face. It was always the same line.. But no matter how hard I tried it seemed like it wasn't enough. My mother had serious anger issues and sometimes it would go so far to physical abuse. But I didn't let her get to me. Well, that's what I thought.
" Do you not understand how tough this is for me. I swear I'm trying my best. I'm a human mother, not a robot'' I replied back and soon regretted it after I was slapped in the face.
" well if this is how it is going to be then I shall send you to your father and I know you despise him a lot" I wanted to cry as rage-filled my belly. If this was how I was going to be treated I would have never wanted to be alive. I tried to tell myself that there were people out there who were going through tougher times than me. " I need you to toughen up and get good results, I need to let the world know who my daughter is". I couldn't hold it in any longer " do my feelings no longer mean anything to you. Am I a toy that you can just show off "I screamed and ran through the front door. I tried to hold in my tears but failed miserably. I did not want to be in the same car as her so I decided that I would walk to school. Negative thoughts lingered through my mind as I walked. As I walked through the gates I noticed how happy people looked. The smiles on their faces really triggered my heart. I was jealous. Why had I become so cold? Why must I go through this?
I walked to my locker and looked around once again. My eyes caught another pair of eyes. My ex-best friend. We were always together but I guess people change for the better or the worse. I still don't understand why we ever broke up. But I guess it was fate. I miss her a lot. But me being the stubborn person that I am, I'm afraid if I go back to her I might once again lose her. I'm sure she sees me as her enemy.i walked past her with a look of disgust and walked to my classroom. Most of the time I sat alone because I just couldn't handle the attitude of my classmates. The teacher walked in with a smile and announced that we would have exams the following week. I really didn't understand why she was smiling. I frowned as I heard the news and slammed my head on the table which attracted the attention of everyone in my class. I wasn't in the mood for anything after what my mother had told me. I just wanted to sleep, I hadn't gotten any sleep because of the late studying. But my teacher was not tolerating it."Miya, please get your head off the table, if you want to sleep go somewhere else and do it." I got up and walked out the door, I really couldn't deal with this anymore. while I walked out I hear my "ex-friend" whisper "Maybe if you listened to the teacher you would get good grades". I simply ignored it. I ran to the rooftop and sat down. My emotions were all over the place like a pair of scissors gone loose. I couldn't control myself any longer and let my tears out. I swear that I was trying my best but it seemed like no one noticed. Sometimes when I wasn't able to control myself I would draw in a notebook to calm myself down. I had a dream, and that was to be an artist. But knowing my parents that dream would never come true. I felt like drawing was an escape from reality. I could draw myself as a princess living her best life but in reality, I was just a miserable girl who was afraid of being loved. I was afraid that if I did receive the love I would get too addicted.
Everyone knew I usually came here to spend my time, so no one disturbed me. The peaceful breeze blowing my hair, the music in my ears relaxed me. I felt happy. The only time I felt happy was when I was alone. But I really did miss having someone by my side, someone I could laugh and cry with, someone who I could share my thoughts and feelings with.someone who would love me.
I heard footsteps and immediately put my sketchbook in my bag and wiped my tears. A guy from my class came whose name was Roka I was guessing by his name tag. " the teachers calling you". I swiftly got up and wiped any dust on my skirt.
