Fated

Soul that needs a sugery

"I failed." I told my self.
"I failed at life"
They all said, "Anna, you can do it, don't worry!" but look where I am now. They all lied.
We all want to be happy, we all know we need it, but not everybody know's how to be happy. I haven't found the "real" key yet. We all say at some point of our life that we really don't care about anything. We don't care if we're happy, if we're sad or where we are. That we don't care how much alcohol we've been drinking, how much lack of sleep we have, cause face it. We are young and we're immortal, and we all know that our life kinda "ends" when we're getting a real job and kids and all that. I mean, that's just what I think. We all need to do what we have to do before it's too late. We all need to be a little too crazy to know that we've been that kid, that we're afraid to be it self, before it was too late. Think about it, it's your life, why waste it trying to be someone else than who you are. I would rather be mentally ill than be fake perfect. Maybe I am mentally ill? Maybe we all are? We just need to find people who accept us for who we are, so we know that it's okay to accept yourself.

What is love? And what kind of love are we trying to define?
Soulmates.
What are they? And how do I get one. How do I find one? And how do I know that it's my soulmate? What does this "Special Someone" making us feel? How do we know for sure?
That's the thing. We don't. We guess. And while we're young we have a lot of soul mates, and sometimes we're just so desperate to be loved that we think they're our soulmates. I really hope that this guy that I'm into is my soulmate. He is mysterious, and funny, and nice, and shy. He's the perfect twist, and I just know that if everybody saw him as I do, they would fall just as hard as I did. He have the cutest and most welcoming eyes. The sweetest and most heartmelting smile. His face is just perfect.

Sociaty. Who even are they, and why the fuck are they judging? They are us. We are them. We try harder and harder to make everyone feel welcome on this earth we share. But you can't make everyone feel perfect at the same time? Like, you can make a song about how skinny is not real. It's when we have the classifies we fail. "Skinny", "Fat", "Blond", Human. We are all humans. And I know that no one want's to listen to me sitting here writing about how bad skinny people have it. "Pretty Hurts", and I know it does. Cause even when 100 people tell you you're pretty, it's still that one person who says the stupidest things that win. I don't get judgmental people. I don't get how people can say "Ew, she's fat" or "Ew, she's too skinny" cause they have no idea of how much that one person have fought to be where they are. And you can sit there and be all like "skinny people don't have as many problems at 'fat' people", and if you think that, you can choose one out of two things. To leave and don't read anymore, or you can stay and keep an open mind.

I'm this girl that whenever I go to a party I try to be perfect, but still be a bit of me. I'm this kind of girl who don't know when she flirts, and that ends up hurting me. Because that makes my friends leave me and the guy I like not trusting me. I'm this girl that people say they wanna be, that they are jealous of. But I really don't see why. They don't see the downsides. So that's why I'm here writing this right now. So the people that says that kind of stuff can see that it's not just the best to be what sociaty calls "pretty". I'm this kind of girl who hides her emotions. I'm afraid of emotions. People use my emotions agenst me, and that's not cool. People think that because you act like you're confident, you are. But we all know that it's not the case.