Batfamily ( Bros trip )

Dick's lesson

As soon as we got on the highway, Flat Stanley was taped to the front air-conditioning vent. All I can say is he was having a much better rude than I was. The windows in the back of the van don't open, and the vents were blocked by all our luggage, so I wasn't getting ANY cold air.

What made me even MORE uncomfortable was the fact that Dick was control of the trip. Dick always tries to make things about education, abd I knew he was gonna turn this experience into one long lesson.

He's been doing that ever since I was little. I remember when I got scratched by some random cat that I found in the Wayne's manor backyard and Dick tried to turn it into a " teaching moment"

Dick:" C-A-T. CAT!".

Sure enough, a half hour into the trip today, Dick started in with the educational stuff.

He had borrowed a bunch of CDs from the library that teach Spanish and said we'd use the long stretches on the road to learn a new language as a family.

Dick's always saying that learning a foreign language is the best thing you can do for your brain. That might be true, but I think he should leave the actual TEACHING to the schools.

Dick decided it would be a good idea to expose me to a foreign language early on, so when I was in first grade he would put the Spanish-speaking channels on TV while we ate breakfast.

Dick would repeat whatever they said on the television, but when HE said the words they came out a little bit different.

Tv:" Tengo Hambre!"
Dick:" Tango Hamburgers!"

I ended up learning all sorts of phrases that weren't right. For example, the way you're SUPPOSED to say " What's your name " in Spanish is " Cómo te llamas ". Well, I know that NOW because I learned it in my middle-school Spanish class.

But when I was little Dick taught me that " What's your name " in Spanish is "Te amo", which ACTUALLY means "I love you". I just wish I had known that before I said it to a million different people.

Today Dick played the first two Spanish CDs, but he got frustrated that no one seemed to be paying attention. So he switched gears and said we were gonna play a car game he read about in hus magazine.

The game was called Alphabet Groceries, and you play it like this: the first player has to name an item you can get at the grocery store that starts with the letter "A". The next person has to come up with an item that starts with "B", and so on.

If a player CAN'T come up with an item that starts with their letter, they're out of the game.

Dick said I should go first, so I said "apple", which I guess was kind of an obvious choice. Jason was up next, but he said he couldn't come up with any food that started with "B".

I'm pretty sure he was lying to get out of having to play the game.

When Jason got knocked out, the turn went to Damian, who came up with his word right away.

Damian:" BAPPLE!"

Dick started cheering, but I pointed out that "bapple" isn't a real word. He said Damian is just learning the alphabet and that we all need to "encourage" him.

I quit in protest, and from then on it was only Damian and Dick playing. I really wished my earplugs weren't buried in my duffel bag under a pile of suitcases, because the next hour and a half was pretty painful.

Damian:" ZAPPLE!"
Dick:" YAYYY!"

After that, it was quiet in the van for a long time. Dick was about to pop the next Spanish CD in the stereo, but luckily Damian had fallen asleep by then, so he couldn't.

If you wake Damian up in the middle of one of his naps, he'll go completely ballistic, and there's NO calming him down. So whenever Damian falls asleep Bruce and Alfred do everything they can to KEEP him that way.

Tim:" Hey, has anyone seen my-"
Bruce and Alfred:"SHHHHHHH!!!"

I'm glad Dick remembered to bring a dummy on the trip, because as long as Damian's got one stuck in his mouth he can sleep through just about anything. Damian lost his favourite dummy last night, but Jason ran out to get a new one at a store near our house that sells gag gifts.

I guess it looks a little strange, but it works just as well as a regular one.

Damian had been sleeping peacefully fir about an hour today when we stopped at a tollbooth. Dick rolled down his window to get a ticket, and the guy in the booth had such a loud voice he sounded like he was speaking through a MEGAPHONE.

Guy:" HOPE Y'ALL ARE HAVIN' AN AWESOME DAY!"

Damian started to fuss, and his dummy came halfway out of his mouth. But luckily Jason reacted quickly, and Damian fell back asleep.

I think Dick was a little frustrated that Damian was napping in the first place. He had marked a bunch of places on his map where he wanted us to stop and get out for some sightseeing, but now we had to keep driving.

The problem I had with Damian's nap was that I really needed to get out of the car and stretch, but I COULDN'T.