"Please stop. I'm seeing someone and I don't want to hurt her."
Hindi ko alam na may kakayanan pala ang mga salitang pahintuin ang pag ikot ng mundo. Tama nga pala ang sabi nila na makapangyarihan ang mga salita. It has the power over my involuntary muscles. I learned from 3rd grade-- if I'm not mistaken, that our heart is made up of involuntary muscles. A muscle that we cannot control. But at this moment. His words were like a message relayed from the parts of my brain to make my heart skip a beat and die for a matter of second.
His words were audible. Hanggang sa mga salitang binitiwan niya. My ears shut and all I could hear is a loud ringing noise. Di ko alam kung totoong naririnig ko iyon sa paligid ko o mula iyon sa utak ko. The loud ringing noise then replaced with the sound of my heart beat pounding through my ears slowly and slowly fading.
Hindi ko alam kung paano na tapos ang tawag sa cellphone ko, kung ako ba ang nagtapos o siya. Tears blurred my sight and my lungs started to contract erratically. My throat couldn't take my harsh gasped of air to help myself to breathe.
I walked towards the pitch dark horizon kung saan nagtagpo ang kalangitan at ang dagat. I grabbed the ice cold railing and look down. Wala akong ibang nakikita kundi kadiliman. Di ko alam na pwede pa lang maging sing itim ng kalangitan ang tubig dagat. Walang ibang naaninag kundi ang malungkot na repleksyon ng buwan sa maitim na tubig dagat. I want to end all this pain.
"Kaya pa." That have always been my mantra in my head everytime I'm in pain but this time-- I don't think it'll work.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I took a step up on the railing when something grabbed my shoulder. I looked over and saw a face. The person behind all this pain. Not the person over the phone but the person behind this pain.
Walang ibang pumasok sa isip ko kundi ang saktan ang sarili ko. I faced the person and kissed him hard. Na para bang sa halik kong iyon nakasalalay ang buhay ko. I kissed him in a way na di ko alam na matatawag pa bang halik. It was almost an act of sex itself in a form of kiss. I let all the pain wash over my body and encouraged him to kiss me more.
I had sex. Yes sex. Because my heart came into a straight line that night.
BINABASA MO ANG
Pain Killer (Still Debating For Updates)
Lãng mạnA story written to find release. Release of the pain long kept and endured. This is no typical love story of "kiligs" but a story of a broken love and something that's less of the word love and more of the word companion. Disclaimer: I'm not a profe...
