The press conference

CHAPTER 1: YOU FLOWER YOU FEAST

Harry, LA (August 2020)

Harry felt numb. Harry had felt numb ever since he walked out of that door almost 5 years ago. Walked away from his life. Away from him. He kind of learnt to deal with the numbness, with that new feeling of emotionlessness that kept creeping through his body. But while he was lying on the couch in his LA home, alone once again, he just felt like pure shit. He felt lonely. There was no better way to put it. He had spent the whole day in the studio to finish off the last few tracks for his second solo album. Everyone he was working with was ecstatic, completely thrilled by the high that came with creating new music, but he felt dead on the inside. He kept staring at his watch throughout the whole day and counted down the minutes until he could go home. It was an evening like every single other one he spent here in LA, he was watching Netflix, drinking wine until he felt too dizzy to care about a single thing in the world and successfully ignoring his phone to the point where most people probably thought that he went missing. He couldn't care less. He couldn't remember the last time he felt carefree and happy, even around his family. The hardest part about it was that every time someone asked how he had been ever since that day 5 years ago he had to pretend that he was great, never had been better and oh-so-free. When in reality he felt like he was trapped in a cage, a cage that he had created himself.

2015

"Harry, wait! You can't just run away from me like that!" Louis looked tiny and truly hurt but Harry couldn't care less, he was fuming.

"Are you fucking kidding me here, Lou? Do you actually agree with them?" He avoided Harry's gaze, but he could see how sad he was.

"Trust me, love, this is the last thing I want but I don't think that we're given a proper choice here. The sooner you start getting used to the idea, the better" said Louis. Harry couldn't believe his words, was he the only one who wasn't fine will all of this?

"Lou, how can you be so calm? What even is a fucking Hiatus, what even is that supposed to mean? They want to get rid of us because we're not doing exactly what they want and that's their way to do it without being too obvious. They're ruining our careers right in front of our eyes solely because of our love, that's so fucked up." He ran his hands through his brown hair and let out a deep sigh.

"Look love, I hear you but there's nothing we can do about it now. They're cruel, it's been known. But it's just a break, yeah? I wanted to take some time off for a long time anyways, I'm so overwhelmed with everything that is going on, in so many aspects, I just need to fucking breathe for once."  Louis' words hit him like a punch in the face.

"Space? Space from what, me? Are you fucking kidding me here, Lou?" Louis looked like he just wanted to disappear and kept avoiding his gaze and every time Harry's green eyes failed to meet his blue ones, he died a little more inside.

"Maybe we should just take a step back, all of this is huge. I just feel like I need as much normality in my life as possible at the moment and all this drama that has been going on ever since we started dating just adds to me being overwhelmed, who wouldn't be? Harry, love, please try to understand me here. I can't guarantee you that I won't go insane if we keep everything going as it is now, if you ask me, this Hiatus is the best fucking thing that could have happened to us. We can take some time, get some rest and maybe appreciate all of it more once we decide that it's time to come back. Please, Harry, look at me?" He felt Louis' hand touch his cheek, but he was too pissed to even be touched by him right now. He backed away from him and started walking furiously up and down the room.

"This is ridiculous, just ridiculous. I thought we were fine 2 hours ago. The band, our friendship, us? And now all of you want to just rip everything apart, what am I supposed to do? I don't even wanna take time apart from you, I don't wanna make music without having you and the others next to me, this is so fucked up." Louis looked like he was suffering but he didn't try to touch him again, he just looked to the ground and slightly started shaking his head.

"I'm sorry, Harry, I really am." Harry's blood started boiling even more and all he wanted to do was to run, he didn't know where to but he knew that he wanted to get as much space between this building and himself as possible, so he just did. He was gone so fast that he couldn't even hear Louis'. Harry didn't see whether or not he tried to follow him, at this point he was so out of it that he couldn't focus on anything or anyone anymore.

2020

He still remembered the day, the minute it happened. The feeling, the rage he felt, he still remembered it as if it had happened yesterday. He left his life behind that day, his career, his best friends, the love of his life. But for god's sake, he was just too hurt to go back there, too stubborn. The second he exited the building he knew that it was over, over for One Direction, over for his friendship with Niall, Liam and Zayn and most definitely over for his relationship with Louis. And he was right. How he hated being right sometimes. He hadn't seen any of them in the last 5 years even though they all reached out in one way or another. He just couldn't get himself to it, he was still hurt, and he couldn't imagine the day he wouldn't be hurt anymore. He avoided everything that was solely related to One Direction or Louis, tabloids, interviews or events at which he could bump into one of them. All of his friends knew that the topic was off limits and he was grateful that none of them wanted to push him back into his old life. He was fine, really, he was. At least, that's what he kept telling himself. He was fine.

Even though he still tried his best to ignore his phone he reached out to it and checked whether someone had texted him. Nothing as usually. But how was he supposed to judge anyone who didn't want to be around him anymore, to be fair he probably wouldn't want to be around himself either. The second he put his phone back on the couch table it started ringing. With a concerned look he looked at the screen just to see an unknown number calling him. He was torn between being too suspicious and being curious enough to answer the phone. The curiosity won and he picked up.

Hello, this is Harry. For a second no one answered, and he already thought someone wanted to prank him when he heard someone take a deep breath.

"Hi Harry, this is Niall. "

What the hell?