The press conference

Chapter 4: Kids in the kitchen listen to dance hall

When he heard the first note it came all rushing back to him.

2015

He was gone. And Harry knew that it was final. They were done. The band was done, and Harry was so so so done as well. Harry thought that he knew what heartbreak was, what sadness was. But he was wrong. He was living through it right now and nothing could help him. He noticed that his mum came over, James came over at some point, but it was as if he didn't even notice that they were there. He didn't even know if he was still there or not. And the worst thing was that their songs were a constant reminder of the pain, wherever he went he heard the memories that he tried to forget. Whether it was the supermarket, the bakery or the fucking radio. After a while he just started staying at home, in complete silence, ordering take out while pitying himself. He hated his life. He really did. He was never one to pity himself but right now he did. He really did hate his life.

In this moment he decided that he never wanted to hear one of their songs ever again, never wanted to hear the words One Direction or one of his band mates' names ever again. He was done with it and he needed to move on. In order to cut ties with him he needed to cut ties with everything that he associated him with, otherwise it wouldn't work.

He called his mum and told her that she had to take care of it, he couldn't face management or anyone else, she needed to explain everything to everyone, that he never wanted to talk to any of them ever again, that he didn't care if they sued him or not, that he was done. He wanted to start over, start a new life, a sad one but a new one.

2020

Hearing Niall play one of their songs brought it all back. The emptiness he had felt during the first few days, the rage he had felt every time he heard one of their songs, he couldn't stand it. He was aware that Niall was looking at him oddly, but he couldn't pretend, Niall probably wouldn't buy any of his excuses anyway.

"Harry, what is wrong?"

"I'm sorry, I just. I kinda let go of everything after it all went down, I wanted to get as far away from the memories as possible, I haven't listened to one of our songs in ages. S' just a lot I suppose. I'm sorry."

"Mate you don't have to apologize; I get it okay. I maybe didn't go through it, but I can imagine how you feel right now. Do you wanna talk about it?"

Before Harry could answer, both of their phones started ringing. Harry looked at Niall and immediately knew that shit was about to go down. Niall looked him in the eyes and picked up.

"Hello?"

"Sure."

Niall's face went a bit pale.

"Excuse me?"

"Are you serious?"

He looked at Harry and Harry knew that something was up. Niall had a worried look on his face and the lad basically never worried about anything.

"Sure, I will be there."

He hung up and breathed out slowly.

"Fuck."

Harry got more concerned by the second. Niall was avoiding his look and was playing with his hands.

"Haz, stay calm okay."

"What the fuck, Niall? You're starting to scare me, mate. Just spit it out, alright?"

"They want us at Syco, both of us, in half an hour, they're sending a car to pick us up."

Harry felt like he was falling. Out of the sudden he had trouble breathing and he clinged to Niall's shoulder as if his life depended on it. He couldn't. There was no way that he was going back there when he barely could hear one of their old songs. He couldn't face them and he sure as hell could not face him.

Oh god, the realization hit him like a prick. He had to see him again. Even the thought of him took his breath away, how could he face him? He couldn't do it; it was too much.

"Haz breathe, I know this is a lot but I got you, we'll get through this, together, okay? You don't have to talk to anyone, I'll do the talking, you don't even have to look at them, or him. Okay? But I need you to breath, deep breaths, okay mate?"

Some gibberish came out of Harry's mouth and his grip on Niall's shoulder softened, this wasn't the end of the world, he would be fine. It would suck, that was obvious, but he would be fine.

"M' sorry, just lost it for a second, I'm good. Yeah, you're right. Thanks mate. I'll be fine."

Harry had lost the feeling for time because the next thing he heard was the ringing doorbell.

It was time for him to face his past.