Mixtape

douglas

(Douglas to the right)

You are staring at Beau endlessly until the loud siren of a bell erupted the you, and the boring literature class, and they were sighing loudly, thankful that it was the end of the day.

You sighed yourself becuase you enjoyed hearing her vibrant voice, and the smile that unravels from her mouth, revealing teeth brighter than diamonds.

You gather you books, because your best friend Peter, but you call him Pete, is at the door, motioning for you to hurry because your going to his house to think of ways to portray your feelings for Beau so that she knows, sneaking into his father's cabinet to drink some whiskey, and play video games. A 'tradition' as Peter calls it.

The backpack you slung over your shoulder, is thankfully lighter than usual, because of the holidays coming up.

As your walking towards Peter to exit, you catch a glimpse of Beau who is talking to her best friend, Lily, who is Peter's girlfriend.

As your glimpse is nearly done, since your almost near the door, Beau stares back at you, giving you a shy smile.

You want to smile back, but a few seconds after, your face has become one with the wall connected to the door. Which means you missed the door you idiot.

You grunt in pain, and while your on the floor, because you melodramatically slid down in the process of slamming your face, she still looks at you, laughing loudly and snorting.

You finally return the smile, an embarrassed one, and start to laugh as well, except your laughing at yourself for being such a fool.

You stand up, brushing your army green flannel, jeans, and your dirty blonde hair in the process.

You give her a small wave, and she shyly waves back, while twirling her blonde plantinum hair on her finger.

Finally you exit through the door without hitting or bruising yourself successfully, Peter still laughing his head off at what happened about three minutes ago, and giving you kudos on her finally noticing you.

You smack him in the back of his head, telling him:

"Idiot. I didn't want her to notice me in that type of way."

He replies:

"Whatever mate. And besides, she smiled at you."

You start to smile yourself, reminiscing that smile that was just for you. And only you.

Your already at Pete's house, drinking your third glass of whiskey, and talking loudly since the volume of the video game has been tuned up way too high, and your both too lazy to turn it down.

It's been three hours since you arrived and your still on the topic of how to tell Beau how you feel.

You've gone over the options several times. And the options include:

Delivering roses with a note, you declined because your allergic to roses, writing on her locker your feelings, you declined again because that's plain creepy and your feelings are too long, and too difficult to even form into words, and making her a batch of cookies with a heart and 'I like you' on them, as soon as Peter brought it up, you both laughed simultaneously because he knew you would decline because you always burn cookies even though you follow through with all the instructions.

You take another swig of whiskey from the red plastic cup, swallowing it, it scorching in your throat but it doesn't bother you. And after that, you still ponder over why you drink whiskey in the first place because it always makes you hungry.

Your head turns towards Peter, who glances over at you and says:

"You okay? I mean mate, we've gone over this several times. I have no more ideas in the ol' brain of mine."

Peter smiles and knocks on his head with his knuckles for extra effect on what he just head.

And you shake your head in dissaproval, but the amused smile on your lips says otherwise.

You reply back:

"Hey, what about a mixtape?"

And so the late nights of scrolling through endless lists of songs that express how you feel about her deep inside on your laptop, and talking about how you feel about her each day begin to unravel.

And so in the end, you shouldn't have doubted yourself if you had a chance with Beau you idiot.