Ever since his mom died, Cat Noir has been struggling. He's so good at hiding it that no one knows. Not even his closest friends or his father. But then unforeseen events lead his condition to worsen drastically, and it's only a matter of time befor...
There was no Akuma or villain after all. This only heightened Ladybugs' confusion. She wanted to know what her partner was doing running around outside in the middle of the night, alone, hours after his shift had ended on a weekday.
She also wanted to go to bed, but that was clearly out of the question.
He stopped at the Eiffel tower. Ladybug expected him to keep moving in a minute or two. He didn't. Eventually, she came out of hiding, and he admitted that he had run off because it was a year ago today that his mother had died.
Ladybug tried to comfort him, and Cat Noir had cried, but it seemed to help. It was the second time he had ever been vulnerable around her. The first was when he confessed.
The thing was, both times, something had felt slightly off. After she had told him that she loved someone else, he should have been hurt. But he just smiled at her. It looked completely genuine, but made no sense. Ladybug only realized this looking back.
It was just like that time, only more so. He recovered too quickly and completely. This time, however, Ladybug noticed it right away-- not that he was acting strange, but that he was acting like his normal everyday self at a time like this. Seeing how easily Cat Noir smothered his emotions, sealing them away without a trace, made her wonder what else he could be hiding from her.
Had he been suffering this whole time? Alone?
Cat Noir said it was a year ago today that his mother died, and it was just under a year ago that that had gotten their miraculous. It would have been just before then that it happened. But when they met, he hadn't shown any sign of unhappiness.
They stood up and gazed at the sky for a long minute. Out of the corner of the eye, she saw Cat Noir glance down, but didn't think much of it. Then a second later she heard a gasp. She whirled around to see him stumble back, slipping and falling over, he collided with the metal side of the tower. Hard.
"Cat Noir!" Ladybug cried, darting over. She knelt beside him and helped him sit up. He was breathing rapidly and trembling, eyes wide with terror. "Hey, you're alright. Breathe. What on Earth is going on?!"
He blinked quickly, and she could tell he was attempting to regain composure. It was as though he were fading in and out of reality and wasn't sure which was which.
"I-- I'm fine, I just need to... just let me..." He spaced out again, panicking like before. His breathing picked up. "We-- I have to get down from here-- please, I can't--" Cat Noir was clinging to her arms desperately. It was like he was trying to stay anchored in a tornado.
"Just breathe, I don't know what's going on, but you're safe. Try to calm down--"
"I'm going to kill myself!"
"Wh-what?!"
Cat Noir paused, coming around a bit. "No, wait. I'm still here. I thought I was going to--"
"Kitty?"
"I need to get down from here, now!" He was panicking again. Ladybug got the message.
"Okay, you're alright. Stand up. I'm here, it's safe." She helped him up, and they made their way quickly to the ground, with Ladybug supporting her partner and speaking comforting words all the way.
When they finally alighted, Cat Noir sank to the ground with a sigh of relief. His breathing evened out after a minute.
"That's better. Sorry about that M'lady, heights aren't really my thing right now, since that bad luck villain made me into a clutz."
He was doing it again. She saw it now, and she wasn't letting it slide. "Cat Noir--" Ladybug started, but was cut off.
"Anyway, I think I should go home and talk to my Fath-- uh-- family. About my mother and everything. Besides, you probably have to--"
"Cat Noir!" She snapped. He froze, looking shocked and guilty. "You aren't pulling this on me again. What's really going on with you? I need to know!"
He hesitated. It was visible now, his facade. His act with its tiny fractures, and the little cracks he had hidden so well, was breaking.
It finally broke.
He told her everything.
Cat Noir is suicidal. He's been having panic attacks because he doesn't trust himself not to try something. No one knows, not even his family or closest friends. It's getting worse every day.
My friend has been drowning alone, with no one trying to save him, and he didn't call out once.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
