The Tides That Bind Us [AfroFuturism]

Soot

Zaharah didn't know how long she stayed out there in the garden, in the ocean, adrift in her own turmoil. The boat had long capsized, and she'd fallen into the atlantic's black waters. And she was drowning. People came, people went, but no one threw her a lifeline. Her lungs burned, her eyes stung.

She couldn't breathe.

Get it together.

"Zaharah?"

She almost jumped out of her skin. The water receded from the trees and benches, and she sucked in a wheezing breath. The salty funk of the Atlantic still filled her nose, but at least her feet were on land again.

A hot wave of shame fell over her. She hadn't had an episode like this in over a year, and even then, she'd been able to pull herself out of deep end with no help.

"Are you all right?" Elliot stood over her, but she had no idea when he got there. The wave of shame turned into a typhoon that sadly didn't sweep her away.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" She squared her shoulders and held her body rigid in a mockery of what a sane person should look like.

"Well you've been gone for almost an hour." He stuck his hands in his pockets and tilted his head at her. "Markus and Jade tried to reach you, but you weren't picking up."

Zaharah checked phone – three calls and ten text messages. The clock read 20:14. "Time got away from me, that's all."

"Uh-huh..." He quirked a brow at her. "Is that also why your heart rate and blood pressure are elevated?" She didn't answer. "I get it. None of my business. Director Sanders told me..." He paused as if trying to find the right words. "...people here don't express their emotions well. Even positive ones. Is that true?"

She shrugged. "Somewhat. I mean, some people are good about. The rule of thumb is not to talk about it unless the other person brings it up first."

"Then I apologise. I'm still learning."

"It's fine." She stood and smoothed her clothes. "Let's head back."

Goat skin drums boomed from within the complex as the parade continued. She and Elliot made the trip back to the skybox in silence, but she caught him staring at her more than once. The kind of steady, attentive look one gave when they had something to say. Thank goodness he saved it. Any words from him would've been the pin to her balloon, and she'd explode.

As they exited the stairwell, her phone buzzed, and she whipped it out expecting another message from Jade or Markus, but found an unknown number displayed on her dash.

Zaharah? It's Cammi, the message read.

Numbness settled in her fingertips like a biting cold. It climbed up her arms and skittered down her back, all the way to her toes, rooting her to the ground. If she had a shred of common sense left, she'd delete the message, block the number and go back to watching Junkanoo. But another part of her wanted to scream at Cammi for stealing her information, for disrupting her life, for dredging up old memories.

"Something the matter?" Elliot asked.

"Tell Markus and Jade I went to the bathroom. I'll be back in a minute." She didn't wait for an answer before she disappeared through the door of the unisex bathroom. Rows of stalls and urinals stretched the length of the one side, opposite the sinks and mirrors.

Zaharah hit the panel on the wall to lock the door and slid down to the cream-coloured tiles. More texts flashed across the dash of her phone.

Please respond.