The Tides That Bind Us [AfroFuturism]

Defiance

Zaharah hated crying. Not only because it stung her eyes and made her throat raw. But because crying meant admitting she was not okay and had never been okay. That her life was a lie, and she'd been walking around with a mask on.

Crying sucked. She'd rather hold all of her feelings back, lock them behind a dam. Sometimes the pressure behind it became too great, cracks would form and her feelings would leak out. Mostly anger. But on rare occasion, someone would come along and lob a giant rock at that dam, and burst it open.

The Director had lobbed that rock this morning, obliterated the dam, and everything spilled out. Months and years of anger and sadness and grief overcame her all at once.

Zaharah sat on a bench at the far end of the South Shore arboretum. Where no one would hear her soft sobs, or see her tears. Where she could keep a shred of her dignity. The pond and the trees wouldn't judge her, neither would the birds, frogs and fish that called them home.

Her feet and hand had long gone numb, and the feeling was spreading up her arms and legs. The bench swayed and rocked like a boat on rough water. The feeling would pass—or it could if she calmed the fuck down.

Skorpi sat on her shoulder, patting her head with a claw, his soft beeps undercut by the drone of the pond's filtration system. At least he was here for her.

Zaharah wiped her face on her already soaking wet sleeve and her buzzed in her pocket, sending a tingling through her stomach. A generic ringtone blared from the speakers instead of Nova Star. She closed her hand around the phone, the vibrations like a whisper of breath against her numb hand.

She picked up, prepared to scream at whoever was on the other end to go away. But by the time she raised the console to her lips, only a strangled "hello" escaped.

"Zaharah? It's Dr Cyan. Are you okay, sweety?"

"I'm..." She hiccupped. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You don't sound fine." When Zaharah didn't answer, she sighed. "I told Aleesha not to stress you out. I heard her yelling at you from out front."

Zaharah almost laughed. She couldn't imagine her reaction would've been any different if the Director had been gentler with her approach. "I... I don't want to move to Europe. I don't even know anyone there." God, she sounded like a child who didn't want to go to preschool.

"Okay." Dr. Cyan's voice changed from motherly to resolute. "Then you're not going to the UEC, Zaharah. I'll get you and Jade to the mainland before Aleesha carts you off across the pond."

Zaharah sat up straighter and swiped at her tears, wondering if the rush of water from her dam was affecting her hearing. "Wait, what?'

"You had plans to move to the mainland after you graduated, right? Well it's time to move your plans up. You're leaving tomorrow. I'll get you off of Denden to a place where Aleesha can't touch you."

"I—"

"I don't have a lot of time to talk. It's check-up day for the younger kids and there's going to be a line out my door soon. If you want my help, come to the lab at whatever ungodly it is you get up. Okay?"

"Okay."

Zaharah sat there on the bench with the phone in her hand until it became so slick with sweat she could barely hold it. Control the things you can. She'd listened to Dwight, and the Director, and Cammi. Listening to Dr Cyan wouldn't hurt. She didn't want to leave Denden, but moving to the 700 was more palatable than moving to Europe.

She checked her watch: 10:15. Her digital art class started at eleven, but she could get some packing done before then. She walked the rest of the way to the apartment complex and stuffed her board in the locker.