When Love Said No (Drarry)

Chapter 1 (re-written)

Hi! This is the 1st time I'm writing a story so I apologize if it's bad...
For the people who don't like to read descriptions/more explanation of the story, triggers, etc:
- There is NO magic in this world. It's basically an AU (alternative universe) story - the only canon thing about this book is the names of the characters. Some characters are similar to the canon, but that's about it.
- If I have grammar mistakes, PLEASE correct them in the comments. I won't find it offensive, instead, I'll find it very helpful to make this story better. Just don't be rude about it, please.
- Also, this story contains a boyxboy (gay) relationship, child abuse & abuse, *mentions* of rape & child/underage sexual abuse, slut-shaming, etc. Also panic attacks, PTSD, and similar. If you're not comfortable with this, please don't read the story!

- Disclaimer:
1. I am NOT sexualizing the actors of the movies. I'm using the book description of the characters.
2. I am NOT sexualizing or glorifying abuse or sexual abuse. This story is meant to be fiction, and also the abuse and sexual abuse are NOT sexualized or glorified. Obviously, please don't model your relationships by this story.
3. The only reason there is abuse, sexual abuse, etc in this story, is just to show the reason the characters are the way they are. I'm a fan of psychology so this story is very much my experimentation of different mental illnesses/disorders like PTSD, Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Antisocial Disorder, etc. Of course, some might be a bit extreme or unrealistic in some parts, but that's why this is only fiction.
4. I am NOT going to write rape scenes, and *DEFINITELY* not the ones including the underage sexual abuse. I don't want to write them because it is not only disturbing to read/write, but it also feels (to me at least) like I'm sexualizing those scenes - which would be even more disturbing. I'll write just the beginning/end result of it, so we know what happened, but it would feel weird to write the whole thing.

- That's about it for now. I often go back to edit this stuff, so I might add another trigger or anything that needs to be said. If you think something is necessary, please tell me.

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Draco's POV

I sat at my desk, sweat running down my face. It wasn't hot outside, it was especially cold for the month of May. I was sweating because of the raging anxiety and fear. I looked at my essay and tried to read it, but it was no use since the letters started mixing up and vanishing. I couldn't read a word and that scared me.

I felt like I was drowning in a sea full of sharks, hungry for days, and ready to eat me.

I closed my eyes, trying to calm down. I started rubbing my trembling hands together as I felt my fingers turning ice cold. I barely listened to my classmates' essays, I was starting to lose my hearing ability and started seeing black dots in front of me. I couldn't breathe. I felt hands squeezing my neck, but when I touched it, there were no hands. I was at the edge of a panic attack when I heard my name being called.

"Mr. Malfoy, please stand up and read your essay?" Mr. Snape said. My heart stopped for a second. I looked at the man in front of me. His black hair was in his usual style. He wore his black suit as always. His always tired, black eyes pierced through mine. I looked around the classroom and saw the eyes of my classmates. They all looked at me with something I couldn't explain, yet their eyes were like blades cutting me open.

"Yes sir." I said quietly, with a shaking voice. I stood up and cleared my throat. I stared at the paper, trying to calm down. I finally somehow started reading. When I finished reading my essay Mr. Snape's eyes were teary, and my classmates' eyes were full of disgust and hatred. I tried to ignore all the eyes locked on me, but my heart couldn't calm down and my breathing worsened. All I could see are eyes full of hate surrounding me when I finally shut my eyes.