Turned back || Mafia au -m.yg-

It's time to stop|Chapter 37|

The next evening I was sitting with Namjoon in my living room.

'She wants us to come-' I explained to him everything F/N told me.

He leaned forward onto his arms. 'Hm well it sounds nice but leaving now could be dangerous.' Nodding I took my drink. This was my fourth already this evening.

'I don't know if I want to go~' Namjoon chuckled at my reaction. 'I think you do want to go~ it's in two weeks, let's just go and do a big check in Daegu. We can lay low and plan some stuff for our club while we are with her.' As I heard his kindness in his voice I nodded.

'True... I'll call Jin tomorrow to make sure we get there.' I said looking at the liquor that was still remaining at the bottom of my glass.

'Don't stare too deep into it.' Namjoons tone switched.

'What do you mean?' I put the glass down while my stare fixed onto him.

'You have been drinking an awful lot more ever since she returned. Care to tell me why?' Cracking a smile I nudged my head.

'Because I dink my feelings away. You out of all people know that.' He looked down. 'You know you can talk to me. So talk to me.'

He really was the most righteous and honest man I had ever met in my life.

I sighed and leaned forward as well.

'I just don't know what will happen is we started dating again. She has her own organization now, even more powerful than mine. To be honest I want her back into my life but only if she wants to... Work is just becoming a big part of our lives and I don't know if a want a work/home relationship. Before she was just mine but now whole Daegu knows her.' Namjoon listened to me carefully.

'We are taking our distance now because I need time to think... But I have the feeling that if I see her again in two weeks right there that I can't contain my love for her.' I felt a warm tear run over my cheek.

'Drinking numbs my mind and it makes me hold my hands of the cigarettes. That's why I'm drunk almost every night.' I hear him exhale calmly as I looked away.

'Are you sure you want to continue your life without her?' He asked. 'Ever since she left, you have changed so much.' His voice grew in sadness.

'In a bad way I assume?' Looking at him he nodded. 'Your behavior is more brutal and careless. We have talked about it before about work and our men and cetera but even towards yourself.' I clenched my jaw.

'I know... I let drugs into my personal life, my alcohol problem came back and I even started smoking again.' I laid my head into the palm of my hand and rubbed it firmly.

'Yeah~ a lot of us have picked up bad habits after she was gone... I mean look at all of us.' He held up his finger as he started to dictate, folding them down one by one.

'You started drinking more and smoking again.
I started using coc as well as Jimin,
Jin started smoking weed along with Jungkook and Taehyung.
Hoseok got an addition to tattoos and cocaine as well, not to forget he smokes 24/7.
We all are turning into rotten versions of ourselves. It needs to stop. This problem didn't start with you Hyung, please know that but we all need to start listening to each other. Our family is losing its grip.'

He was right. We were losing ourselves.

'You're right. It needs to stop. We need to stop the drug use first... It's the most difficult part~ I will stop drinking every night as well.' He nodded. 'I think we started using drugs because we have easy access to it.' He has a good point again.

'Yeah... It's our work, we can't just not have it but I will state a new rule that it's not allowed to use among best men.' He nodded and sucked in his lips.

'I will miss my snow tho.' We both laughed. 'I will miss my whiskey.' Both chuckling I leaned back.

'Oh yeah don't you need to let Y/N know we are coming?' I pointed at him. 'Yes indeed.' Picking up my phone I hear him sigh.

'Hey, I wanted to let you know we will be present at the memorial.'

About a week passed and we all had a talk about the drug use.

'Hyung! You can't forbid us to use drugs!' Jimin spoke up.

Needing to be the bad guy all the time really was getting annoying.

'I'm sorry but I need to. We are all using too much. Every Friday when we meet at my house everyone is either stoned or blackout drunk. Aren't any of you afraid that someone will OD?' I looked at them with concern in my eyes, my brows frowned deeply.

'Because I am and we all know what that shit does to people. We don't want to be the same as the crackheads that buy from us so after this week there will no longer be drug use. I'll even pay for therapy if needed. I am taking this very seriously.'

They all grew silent as they saw my soft side took over. My voice was filled with concern as my eyes sparkled with hope.

'Hyung, we can't even smoke weed anymore?' Jungkook looked over at me. 'No, sorry.'

'What about your drinking?' Taehyung asked a little irritated.

'I'm stopping with that as well. I will get help, I'm in a difficult situation at this time in my life. Saying goodbye to everything... I know that's not possible. But I don't want to get drunk every night anymore it needs to stop.' As he nodded I looked down at my hands.

'No further arguing.' Namjoon filled in. 'You are not telling me that you are okay with backing up from snow?' Jin asked Namjoon. 'Yeah I don't believe that shit.' Jimin joined.

'I don't want to, but it's just like Yoongi said. I don't want to OD and it's not good for my further as well. I want a wife and kids, my own family, and I can't if I use hard drugs.' Hearing everyone hum I looked back up.

'We will get through it together.' 'Yes let's just try and find comfort and strength in each other.' Jimin said as he made me smile.

'Hobi you okay?' Taehyung asked as he was staring blankly in front of himself.

'I can't.' He said under his breath.

'I can't live without Coc, weed or any other drug I use~ I need it!' His eyes shot at every single one of us.

'Hobi~' Jin tried to calm him down.

'NO!' He yelled.

'Think about BF/N... She is worried about you.' Teahyung tried to talk sense into him.

He started shaking.

'Shit-' I stood up and walked over to him.

'He is getting a panic attack.' I said to Jungkook who sat down behind him to hold down his arms.

'uhmm shit!' I mumbled.

'Breath Hobi.' Namjoon crouched down in front of him.

'Don't think about it, just breathe, think about her.' Nodding his eyes started straight in front of them lifeless. Namjoon always knew what to do.

About 5 minutes his breathing became steady.

'I-I'm sorry.' He calmed down. We all gave him some space.

'Just don't tell her I use cocaine again... I will disappoint her~' Nodding we all agreed.

'I will try to stop, I promise.'