Feeling Brew

~10~

He hadn't seen the building in years. It looked almost new with its fresh coat of white paint over its original crimson bricks. The baby blue trim was a new addition, but the ivy had been there for as long as he could remember.

Taeil hesitated as he pushed open the door and heard those familiar wind chimes jingle.

"Welcome, how can I help-"

Dr. Han froze when he saw him. "You."

"You met a foreign girl recently. You didn't happen to tell her anything, did you? No family secrets? Oh right, why would you tell someone you don't know things you're ashamed about?"

"Taeil, what brings you here?" Dr. Han asked wearily.

"Don't tell that foreign girl anything. Refer her to another clinic if you can. I don't want her to get tangled up in our business."

"Son, you know we did it because it was what would be the best for all of us, right? We're all doing well, now. And I told you, you can always come in for counseling to talk to me about your problems."

"Son?" Taeil studied his father's weathered face. "Why did you ignore me like I was someone you regretted seeing every time you laid your eyes upon me? You scowled when you thought I wasn't looking and kicked me to the curb after you left Mom. Your greatest weapon was pretending to be nice. I've been a reject all my life, but you just made me hate myself every single day. I'm scared to talk to people and make friends and fall in love because of the secrets you kept from me."

Dr. Han groaned. His weary face looked gaunt in the dull lighting of the lobby. Taeil pushed past him and walked into the private room where he counseled patients and cursed under his breath when he saw all the empty coffee mugs.

"And you're worried about me?" Taeil laughed. "Look at this. You can't even take care of yourself."

Dr. Han pushed his mugs aside and collapsed at his desk. "Taeil, let's talk about this rationally."

"There was nothing rational about hiding everything from me for years. I felt so pathetic when I found out-" Taeil stared at the ground, blinking away the tears. "Just don't tell that foreign girl anything. Please."

With that, the boy trudged out the door, and Dr. Han grabbed fistfuls of graying hair with his tired hands.

Taeil collapsed once he got back to the apartment. Like Isla the other day, sobs rattled his body. His vision was so blurred with tears, he didn't notice Johnny come in and rush over to him.

"Taeil? Oh goodness, what's wrong?? Why are you crying? Who did what to you? I'll teach them a lesson!"

Taeil sniffled and grabbed a handful of tissues. "I met him. After all these years."

Johnny groaned. "How'd you cross paths? I thought you were doing everything in your power to avoid him."

The music major's lips quivered. "You want to know why I've been working at the coffee shop even though I hate people? It's because even though my parents did what they did, they still raised me with so much love. It was my fault for not accepting the things that happened."

Johnny pulled Taeil into his arms and rubbed soothing patterns on his back to help calm him down.

"He had mugs of coffee laying around, and his wrinkles looked deeper than before. His dark circles stood out, but even then, he had greeted me with a smile. He thinks he's running on charity-"

Johnny sat up suddenly. "Don't tell me... you've been working at the coffee shop to help support your father?"

Taeil smiled meekly. "I guess you could say that. I'm a horrible son, aren't I? I say one thing and then do another? I can't just leave him to hang on without any support. He's too nice to ask people to pay to talk about their problems. I'm too nice to let him work five part-time jobs to scrape together enough money to run his clinic."

"Exactly. That means you aren't a horrible son."

Taeil laughed dryly. "I guess I got that trait from him... even though it genetically doesn't make sense."

"Taeil, it doesn't matter that you were adopted. Your parents still love you and cared for you. They're willing to support you, and you obviously support them, whether you show it or not."

The photography major cut himself off. He knew Taeil's adoption was a sensitive topic. That had been one of the two things that had made him the introvert he was.

"I need time to think." Taeil's head spun with memories he had tried so desperately to disassociate from.

"If we don't tell him, he's going to live his whole life in ignorance!" his mother yelled.

His father slammed a stack of papers on the ground. "And what's wrong with him not knowing? What is there for him to be ignorant of? He's our son!"

His mother laughed. "He's not my son. Is he suddenly yours? Because of your obsession with helping those in need, we adopted him."

"Why are you talking about him like he's a thing?! He's our son! You cooked for him, clothed him! Was that all an act, Sae Won?!"

Taeil dropped his empty glass of water on the floor, and it shattered around his feet. He had woken up thirsty in the middle of the night and happened to overhear a life-changing conversation. His parents whirled in his direction and watched as the silent tears trickled down his cheeks. There were no sobs, nothing. His face was expressionless, and he walked over the glass shards, cutting his feet in the process.

"I'm adopted?" he asked in a shaky voice.

"It's nothing to be ashamed about! Look what lovely parents you have now! We'll always be here to take care of you," his father wrapped his arms around him protectively, but Taeil wriggled out of his grasp.

His feet stung from the glass cuts, but the pain felt nothing like the stinging sensation in his heart. He stumbled backwards. "I'm thirteen. You kept something like this from me for thirteen years? Was it that embarrassing? That I wasn't wanted and was thrown away and that I'm only here because you picked me up?"

"Taeil, it's not like that!" his father tried to reason with him.

"Don't call me that. Don't call me at all," he said blandly. He stared straight into his mother's cold eyes and smirked. "Don't pretend to like a stranger."

With that, he trudged through the glass shards once again and up to his room. He collapsed on his bed, the blood from his feet staining his white sheets.

The kitchen downstairs erupted with his parents' screaming. Could he even call them that anymore? His parents?

Johnny knocked softly on his bedroom door. "Hey, can I come in?"

Taeil groaned in response, and his roommate peeked his head in.

"The neighbor across the hall who bakes us cookies is coming over to meet us today. Do you think you'll be okay hanging out with her?"

Taeil didn't want to meet new people. The only person he felt like seeing right now was Isla. Even though the memory was embarrassing, he wanted to tell her everything and let her comfort him. But he knew she'd think differently of him if he told her he was adopted.

"I can't today. I'm really sorry, but I hope you understand," Taeil grumbled. "Tell her I'll meet her next time."

Johnny smiled on the inside. He felt bad for Taeil, but he had grown really found of Isla. And tonight, it would be just the two of them, and he could get to know her better. But would Taeil be okay on his own?

"You're not going to hide at the coffee shop, are you?" Johnny asked.

Taeil smiled sadly. "I have a better place in mind."

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Question of the chapter: Wow, so now we've learned more of Taeil's backstory.  If you were in Taeil's situation, how would you react?