Feeling Brew

~27~

"We all have someone don't we? It may be a friend, a lover, a parent, or a teacher. But that song was about someone very special to me who saw more in me than I saw in myself. He could read me like a book, always able to tell when something was wrong. I miss him. And the other friends I made in the process. On cold days like these, I just want a good song and a cup of them."

Isla switched off the TV. That interview had been her one exception leaving her house. The chalet she was staying in was breathtaking. It rested on the edge of a cliff in Iceland that overlooked the Atlantic. Still, that beautiful view wasn't enough to wash away the even more beautiful memories she had created in Busan. Not only did she miss Taeil, but she also yearned for Johnny and Irene and even Mi Ran.

She reached for her phone and collapsed in a chair away from the TV. But as soon as she opened it, she was bombarded with articles about Taeil. Isla held her phone closer to her face squinting as she tried to confirm it was him she was seeing in the photos. There was a video linked below, and her suspicions were confirmed because surely that was Taeil's voice. And was that-

"Our song," Isla breathed, turning up the volume.

His words melted her like a marshmallow over a bonfire. Seeing his face overwhelmed her, and Isla burst into tears. For the past two months that she had locked herself away, she had tried so hard to bottle up her emotions and be "okay." Being okay was a tall order for someone who had left her heart halfway across the world.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

Isla jumped as Dr. Han's name appeared on her vibrating phone. Did he know about her reveal? Surely. Taeil must have told him everything.

She accepted the call, but she had no energy to speak, so she simply listened.

"Oh, Isla, you must feel so alone," Dr. Han empathized.

Isla lost it again, and her vision went blurry with tears.

All Dr. Han could hear were choked sobs that the girl on the other end was trying so hard to stifle. From hearing just that, he knew how broken she was.

"Isla, don't think that I'm mad at you because you left my son on read in real life. I mean, that's the only way I can describe what happened. But I'm not mad at you. I want to be there for you just as much as I'm here for my Taeil. Now, tell me everything. I have all the time in the world."

She wiped away her tears on the sleeves of her sweater. "I just feel so alone. I knew I liked him before, but distancing myself made me realize that I can't do anything if I'm not around him."

Isla glanced at the crumpled up sheets of paper that graced the grain-wood floors of the chalet. That along with the used tissues that seemed to stretch for miles. Just because she had put out an album didn't mean she could rest. In six months, Geo would have to provide new content. However, whenever she tried to think of lyrics, she hit writer's block. No words seemed to fit right, and her beats were nowhere close to the one she had composed for the song project with Taeil. They were choppy and irregular, naturally making the songwriting process harder.

"I know that makes me sound weak," Isla admitted. "I'm not dependent on Taeil. Nor is he my lucky charm. I just feel so stuck without him. When I heard people at NCT University talking about me, I didn't care. Sure, it hurt, but I could move on. But I heard them say mean things about Taeil, and that was unbearable to me."

Dr. Han teared up hearing her. "You're such a genuinely nice person. So you revealed yourself as Geo to protect the people around you. And then you hid yourself to further protect Taeil given his shy personality. You didn't want reporters going after him?"