Save Me Before I Fall

I- Home

Trust that I will be as honest to you as I am to myself. I may not like who I once was, but it was important in who I am today. I hope maybe this way, you can learn from my own mistakes and grow, as I did.

I will warn you, this story isn't for the faint of heart. There's blood, pain, suicidal thoughts, assholes, and general dark themes. You've been warned.

So, here is my story. Beginning at the beginning.

I was empty. Tired of the world and its problems. I was not one for anger or depression, exactly. I was one for silence, bored acceptance of the things that happened to me.

No matter who I saw, I felt nothing. Even pain eluded me.

Hm.

Well. I suppose I can't say that truthfully. Breaking my own rule, hm?

I did care for one person.

~ ~ *Some years ago. ~ ~

My name is Chara. I don't have a last name. Don't see a point in one, anyway. Why attach yourself to a family you don't have?

That must sound really edgy. It's not. I just don't care.

If you ever feel like you're just going through the motions of living? Then you know how I live.

I'm not suicidal. I just don't see a point in living. I wouldn't go out of my way to die, but if I were to, coincidentally, die, I wouldn't exactly be sad about it.

If I were suicidal I would have jumped from Mount Ebott long ago.

I've seen the hole- the one that supposedly leads to a world of monsters.

I've entertained thoughts of jumping, but not to "explore the Underground" or whatever they call it now. I don't believe in magic.

The only monsters are humans themselves.

I just want it to end.

I hate humanity.

All of it.

But I'm sure that's no surprise.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Gray.

I stare down at gray on red. Some slop trying to call itself gravy, on dry meat on a stupidly bright red tray, which seems to be almost trying to make the food look less appetizing. 

"Are you just gonna stare at your lunch?"

I look up and see Peyton, in all her dumb popular blonde glory, as she laughs and walks away, telling her friends that the freak isn't even worth their time.

I know what they think about me.

I hear every word.

That doesn't make me care anymore, though. 

I glance back down at the gray. It can hardly be called food. Without a word, I get up from my table and dump my tray before walking out of the cafeteria, as Peyton's little posse erupts in "oh psychoooooo~ won't you come over? We're more friendly than your invisible friends, Psycho!" Laughter ensues as I shut the door to the cafeteria behind me.

I don't look back. I don't really care to.

I have someone I need to see.