the month of december (bxb)

to take you out like i used to

dogs, page france
O6TH DECEMBER, 2019
TWENTY-TWO YEARS

For Seth, I lived up to my promises. I came back to him after my exams the previous day, which had drained me of energy completely. I was sluggish and a homie, so leaving to see Seth was something of a, dare I say, chore. Although it was one I willingly and happily did, it was still a chore. I had grown so used to my routine that Seth's sudden intrusion had startled me out of my own ways. I was thankful for that, kind of, although I would never tell him.

"Hey Seth." I greeted him as he sat on the chair, waiting patiently. I wondered how long he'd been there—I hadn't given him a time, only the promise that I would return today. His patience was truly staggering. I would've just slept until I'd arrived, if I were him. "You ready?"

"Yeah!" He exclaimed, smiling once more. Again, it was night, and the snow pounded the floor without mercy. It had only risen over the past few days, bringing in weather warnings all over. I ignored them, of course. I travelled everywhere by foot, anyways. "I've been ready for three hours—I didn't know when to expect you."

"Now I feel guilty." I mumbled, pouting slightly. Seth only laughed at the sight, taking my hand and walking briskly into the snow. Mathilda gave me a look—the one a parent would give their child's date when saying be back at ten—and I gave her a sheepish smile. Even though she was tiny, Mathilda was a scary little minx. I'd rather steer clear of her than know her better. "Damn Seth, you're walking bloody fast." He ploughed through the snow, his pace quickening as we dove deeper into the city. So much for a slow walker. Fluorescent lights of red and amber greeted him, reflecting off the brown of his eyes.

"Sorry, I'm just excited." He exhaled heavily, as though the fast walking had taken a toll on him. Maybe it had: his eyebrows sunk, and he readjusted the hat on his head. Swallowing, he looked to me. "What have you got planned?"

"Planned?" I looked at him, at his unfaltering smile. "Ah shit, I didn't plan anything."

To that, Seth rolled his eyes. "I expected such. Let's just walk, yeah?" He snuggled his arm into my own, resting his head on my shoulder. I hadn't realised how short he was. When we were younger, he'd been taller than me: always looking down, always having me tilt my head up. Now, it was the opposite. Everything seemed the opposite.

Instead of living, Seth was dying.

I didn't say anything, however. We walked through the snow at a leisurely pace, flakes landing on his nose, causing him to sneeze. I laughed at it—for someone so cute, he sneezed like an elephant. Our hands remained intertwined, however, as I got a tissue out to wipe his nose and readjust his hat again. If it was brighter, I would've seen the tingeing of his cheeks, and the small smile that had evaded his calm expression.

"Are you cold?" I asked as we neared a hotel. It's flashing lights greeted us from the corner, bustling crowds queued outside nightclubs and restaurants. I didn't have enough money to afford it, though I wanted to. I wish I had been rich, or had more money than the average broke student. All I could afford was McDonald's and home-made mac-and-cheese. "We can go to McDonald's or to the hotel."