Fate Mate

Chapter 15

I had not slept so well in weeks-- no, years. With the weight of a surprisingly dense duvet on my back and the silken sheets caressing my legs, I was in heaven. Not to mention Nolan's scent: pine and peppermint and a hint of sweetness. Maybe vanilla? I was so entranced by the mystery of that third scent that I hardly heard it.

Nolan's nightmare began as dull groans and whimpers, as if he had been transported back in time and he was a child again. I jolted upright in bed, immediately assuming that some wounded animal had stumbled toward the cottage. But the cries did not arise from the window. They came from the living room. Nolan.

Before I could so much as slip out of the bed, Nolan's cries accelerated into shouts-- screams. Most terrifyingly of all, they were filled with pain. Then he called out a name: Sarah.

I leapt out of the bed, defying any semblance of exhaustion that fought to hamper my movements, and ran into the living room. To my surprise, a lamp illuminated the room. It reminded me of the night we spent in the hotel room, when Nolan asked me to leave the little bed-side lamp on. The Black Lupis Alpha afraid of the dark? I might have laughed at the idea, if I didn't see my mate's writhing body beside the crackling fire. Somehow, his blanket tangled around his feet and his pillow was thrown to the side.

"No! God no! Sarah!" Nolan screamed in his unconsciousness. Something inside of me shattered at the sight.

I hesitantly approached. A layer of sweat coated his bare chest, and droplets soaked his dark hairline. I crouched beside him, praying to the Moon Goddess that my voice would rouse him from his dreams, "Nolan? Nolan please wake up."

He could not hear me. What kind of wicked nightmare held his mind captive? And how often did this happen? I placed a hand on his shoulder and nearly flinched at the heat. It felt like he could have been burning from the inside out.

"Nolan!" I began shaking."Nolan, please wake up!"

He thrashed an arm in my direction, undoubtedly a reflex from his dream to my touch. His elbow connected with my chest, and the sheer force of the accidental blow had me on my rear. A dull pain radiated from the point of impact, but I hardly had time to register it. Only a moment later, Nolan resurfaced into consciousness. Sweat and tears created little rivers down his weary face, and his eyes swiveled to take in their surroundings.

He panted and froze when his eyes locked onto mine. "Sarah?"

The word held such hope, and I had half a mind to pretend to be his dead mate. Nonetheless, an emptiness swept through my chest. Gods, I wish I could be her.

"No..." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "No, it's Charlie."

"Oh." He blinked, as if seeing properly for the first time. I thought I could detect the smallest hint of disappointment in his voice. "Yes, Charlotte. Come here..."

I hesitated. In that pause, an internal war raged inside of me. On the one hand, I wanted to comfort my mate. Images of his tears and flailing body plagued my thoughts. I needed to comfort him-- do my job as his Luna. And yet... How could I when I knew that his heart longed for another?

"Please," His voice cracked through my thoughts. "Please, Charlie..."

My teeth clamped on the inside of my cheek, tears prickling my eyes. I gave in and crawled to his side. The moment I reached his side, he wrapped an arm around me like I provided some vital source of life. I nearly gasped at the weight of his arm crushing me against his chest.

Nolan trembled, or, maybe we both did. I fought the urge to stroke his arm, to provide him with the comfort that a mate should. Neither of us said a word. We only breathed in each other's scent and allowed the crackling fire to fill the silence.

It could have been minutes or hours before he spoke. "I'm sorry."

"Please," I let out a long breath. "Please do not apologize..." I didn't know if he apologized for accidentally striking my chest, or for calling me by Sarah's name. I knew which one had hurt more.

When he didn't reply, I moved back to look properly into his eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Nolan pursed his lips. "I always see her die. And there's nothing I can do but watch."

I swallowed. I didn't know what to say, so I thought of the only thing that would make me feel better if the roles were reversed. "Will you tell me about her? I want you to tell me everything about her..."

To my surprise, he told me about her. About the woman that I could never be.

"She was perfect, my everything. She was never shy, and usually got herself in trouble because of her big mouth. She knew everything about me, and I her. Her eyes were huge and brown and innocent, so I could never stay mad at her... no matter what she did. And, she was far too beautiful for her own good." He chuckled, and I nearly melted at the warmth in his words.

A smile tugged on my lips, and Nolan told me me every detail of their love. That night, my heart broke in a beautiful way, and I didn't care at all.

The pair seemed to do everything together, never parting. She tamed the beast and taught him to love. Nolan spoke of how she wanted to be a mother and have a large family, and how he built her this house just for them to have their own private life. I was not prepared for when he told me that she was pregnant when she died. I almost asked him to stop the story but couldn't find the words.

"She loved to garden. And orchids were her favorite flower. Her favorite color was purple." That explained the purple orchids that lined the front of the house. He paused for a few moments, and I looked up to see what made him stop. His eyes swam with loneliness.

"I want to move on..." He whispered, and his calloused fingers reached up to hold my cheek. "But every time I find myself getting closer to you, I catch myself and push you away, because if I forget about Sarah, I betray her. And if I forget about Sarah, then everyone will. And she deserves to be remembered."

Finally, everything made sense. I understood why Nolan kept me an arms-length away. And I certainly did not blame him. I needed him to know that. After a few, long moments, I began in a shaking voice. "I didn't know Sarah. But I wish that I had, because I think we would have been friends."

Nolan chuckled, and I continued. "But I didn't know her, so I won't try to act like I know your pain, or, or understand your loss... But I think that I know that she loved you. It would be hard not to. And I think that she would want you to be happy again."

I moved my eyes away from his face and gently pushed away from his grip. Now that his heavy arm no longer circled around my waist, I could sit up. I let out a breath, gaining a bit of confidence. "I won't try to be like Sarah... I know that she's irreplaceable. But I will try to be the Luna this pack deserves. To be what you deserve."

With a bit of space between us, I could finally think clearly. When Nolan said nothing at first, I mentally did a check of everything that I said. Had I done something wrong? My mate's dark eyebrows furrowed and a small frown adorned his lips. Finally, he nodded. "I'd like that, Charlie."

"Friends?" I offered, lamely holding out a hand for him to shake.

Nolan almost laughed before pushing himself up on an elbow and shaking my hand. I tried not to squirm at the sight of his impressive muscles bunching up beneath his tan skin. "How about partners?"

"Deal."

****Hello everyone!! First of all, I want to say thank you for all of your support! It makes my day when I see your votes and comments!! Seriously, you have no idea how much it means to me... Second, I rewrote this chapter like THREE times. I didn't know just how far I wanted Nolan and Charlie to go in this chapter, but I think I am happy with where I left off! (Sorry, its a bit shorter than usual, though!)

Anyways, thank you for all of the love! I love you all!

-Emily ******