Insomnia

00:33

[3rd POV]

"I'm sad. Hey Aizawa-sensei am I sad?" They said to the picture of Aizawa Shouta in their phone. The only glowing thing that was in this dark room.

"I don't know..Just go to sleep already." They grumbled in a way they imagined Aizawa would react when disturbed from his sleep.

They went silent.

"But you know that I can't sleep." They whispered in a tone that sounded like they were about to breakdown crying. "You can, don't overthink it." They said to themselves again.

"I don't want to, my heart feels heavy, my eyes want to cry but cannot and I'm lonely." They hugged the teddy bear they got as a gift a long time ago and fell back with their back unto their bed still in a hugging position with their knees tucked and their arms wrapped around them and the teddy bear they were holding.

"Aizawa you know, sometimes I think I'm sad, but maybe I'm not. I don't like how I contradict myself and know what to feel. Unlike those people in those books who know what to feel and don't feel afraid to be atleast sad or mad or even empty." They started to feel short of breathe but continued.

"Is emptiness even a feeling? I'm pretty sure it is, kinda. Atleast they know what to feel, but I don't know what to feel Aizawa-sensei. I don't want to be sad but I want to be sad because I'm sad but I don't wanna be sad. I don't get it. I just want to decided on what to feel and it's annoying and confusing. I want to scream but that's gonna do nothing. I hate this." They stared into the screen of which Aizawa's picture was once shown again.

"Atleast you feel hate now, right? Now stop whining." They said to themselves.

"But—but maybe I'm just being whiny, yeah maybe I am. I'm not feeling hate I'm just—just yeah.."

"Aizawa I love you, you know that right?"

The screen showed that the phone's battery had died.

"I love you too—" They took a shaky intake of breathe quickly before they could even breakdown.

"I'm sorry—imsorrimsorryimsorry—"

🌧️🌧️🌧️

"that feeling when you want to feel but also not feel but also feel and it's so damn confusing but you don't wanna be confused it's just—"