Behind the Scenes (BWWM)

K: Clear future

"Don't be a stick in the mud Kimmy" Brandy taunted.

I stared down at the pill in my hand. Just do it, just do it... I chanted over and over again, until I popped the ecstasy into my mouth and swallowed with a swig of vodka.

"That's my girl" Brandy smiled, pulling me to the dance floor.

"Are you sure I'll be fine?" I wondered as my head began to spin and the room busted with the colours of the rainbow.

"Shut up and dance." She insisted, and dance we did. Sweat ran down my forehead as heat from the room and the close bodies swarmed me.

A few minutes later, I felt someone's lips on my neck, kissing down my skin. I fought to push them away, but Brandy stopped me, laughed it off. "That's Shawn. He's with me." She winked, giving me the okay. I smiled at my best friend, allowing her to mentor me through my first year of business school.

If this was what it was like, then so be it. I turned in Shawn's arms, wrapping myself around him, allowing the drugs in my body to guide my desire. It was making me exceptionally horny, and I just got an approval from my partner in crime.

Present day

I rolled over on the soft cotton bed until I came in contact with a frame. Before I glanced at who it was, I cursed myself. Every night I say I will sleep in my own bed, and every night I fail.

I peaked up from the pillow in front of me, surprised at what I found.

His muscles were bare and present. His large physic spoke wonders to the universe, asking for more creatures like him to be created. I tensed as he yawned, rolling over to his side, hitting the table beside him.

I groaned quietly as my headache set in. I laid still until my head stopped spinning, then I rolled off the bed gently, making minimal movements from years of experience.

I stared down at his innocent state, his arms wrapped around his pillow, holding it close.

I don't know what it is about him, but he was my kryptonite; when I'm drunk anyways. It seemed I had a weak spot for him when I'm intoxicated, and it seemed he loved to bring home estranged girls; Night after night. So they can sleep in his bed without any sexual obligations.

Maybe it was the fact that I wasn't use to men like this that drew me to him. He seemed different... compassionate; definitely not the kind of man for me.

Men like that couldn't handle a firecracker like myself. I will set them on high and watch them burn out without blinking an eye.

I quickly pulled on my articles of clothing and made my way to the front door like a stealth cat. Before I turned the knob, I noticed something on the kitchen counter. It was a note attached to a metal thermos, and a small bakery box stationed beside it. Inside the box was a chocolate chip muffin. On a metal thermos was the note.

Good morning. This is in case you sneak out again without saying Goodbye. Maybe one day we can actually eat breakfast together. Just a suggestion.

For some reason, I found myself giggling at the note. I took the paper from the counter, folding it and placing it into the back pocket of my jeans.

I grabbed the thermos and muffin after I found a piece of napkin and a pen.

That's a thought. Maybe next time I won't have to pay.

I hurried out of the apartment and headed for the garage.

---

I spent half the morning at my one bedroom condo thinking about Alex. I couldn't shake him from my mind, no matter how hard I tired.

We were completely different people, living in completely different worlds. He would evaporate in my social class and I would suffocate in his. I knew this and I have accepted it, but I just couldn't shake how he made the simplest things beautiful.

How his welcoming brown eyes twinkled as he smiled. How he listened to you not just with his ears, but his entire body.

How he made so much effort in simple gestures. I was completely besotted by him, but I couldn't explain it. What made him so special as to calm my mind so it was able to only focus on him?

Eventually, I got tired of sitting around my apartment all day waiting for something to happen. I pulled on my jacket and grabbed my keys.

I thought about knocking on the door before remembering I had a key. Immediately I started hearing groaning and moaning coming from the bedroom. In utter irritation; I pushed open the bedroom door.

Shawn had a girl bend over in front of him while he pleasured her from behind. Her hair was everywhere as she kneeled, her breast flat in the bed. As Shawn saw me, he smiled, still thrusting into her.

"What the fuck?" I waved, my hands sprawling out in the air. Hearing my voice, the girl tired to get up, but Shawn pushed her back down in position, thrusting faster.

"Are you going to join, or not?" he teased in a groan as he pulled on her nipples, her cries getting louder.

"No" I spat in annoyance.

"It'll be like old times" he offered. I rolled my eyes as I went to the living room, knowing he wasn't anywhere near finished.

Shawn and I have had an open relationship since University, but I thought we decided to put that all behind us. We are perfect together.

We both came from families of prestige, and we both had history. So why the fuck couldn't he get with the damn program, and stop fucking other women? It's been a different girl every week now, and it's starting to bug me.

We have our fun here and there. We've had orgies and threesomes, hell, even foursomes. After those we would take showers together and make love in the tub under the warm showers.

I was ready to move on from that life though. Everyone around me was moving on from their party days, so why can't I?

Half an hour later, I heard the front door open and close from my seat in the dining room. I got up and walked to his bedroom, annoyed once more. He was gathering his things, getting dressed.

"You need to get your shit together!" I yelled, hitting the door for emphasis.

"What do you mean?" He smiled childishly as he pulled me towards him, bringing his lips to mine.

"This is just unsanitary, Shawn. I can't be around this anymore." I pushed away from him.

"Where the hell did my Lilli go?" he accused, staring down at me as if I suddenly sprouted wings. "You've been different these few weeks. All these commitment talks and shit. Fuck." He cussed, hitting the nearby lamp, almost knocking it to the ground.

"News flash, high school is over. Time to grow the fuck up." I shouted as I stomped over to the night table, grabbing my Binky. Binky was a stuffed pig I kept here to remind him of me, but this shit was just too much. Binky has suffered enough.

"Put the damn Pig down!" he ordered.

"No, I've had enough and I want no part in this... nonsense anymore"

He held onto my hand that held Binky, restraining me with his other. "I don't want you to go" he muttered, his anger falling.

"You promised to stop. You promised you'd change." I announced. He took Binky from my iron grip and placed him back on the night table.

"I will" he nodded, caressing my cheek. "Please be patient with me." He gazed down at me with pleading eyes. "I'll even bring you to your favorite restaurant" he smiled.

Five star dinning always did me in. His dad owned most of the fine dining establishments around the country and in the world. His dad was also a chef, but Shawn didn't take after that. He did, however, know the best restaurants to eat at.

"Fine. One more chance. This is your last" I warned for the millionth time, sounding like a broken record.

His beautiful childish smile retuned, pulling me in. This will be perfect, if he stayed away from other girls, and I stayed away from Alex.