Siren Call

Missed

I drifted through the next few days feeling like I was in a trance. Work passed by in a blur and my evenings were spent on the sofa, watching tv or lost in thoughts of time that I spent with Kat. I hadn't seen or spoken to her since Monday night, and I wasn't sure if or when I would again. Each night I went to sleep, my stomach in knots, hating the not knowing part, unsure what Kat was thinking, or doing. If she'd talk to me before deciding one way or the other, or if I could even bear to hear it if she chose to have an abortion.

By the end of the week, the waiting was driving me crazy. I missed her, I missed every little thing about her. The divinely sweet fragrance that she wore and how her hair tickled my neck when I woke up with her in my arms. I even missed her irritating jibes and sarcastic comments. I'd lost count of how many times I had picked up my phone and nearly dialled her number, longing to just listen to her voice. I threw my phone onto the sofa beside me after doing that for the third time that evening, and tried to concentrate on the tv. A few minutes passed and I still had no idea what the hell was going on, unable to focus enough to follow what the characters were talking about. The loud sound of the doorbell rang through the hallway, and with a disgruntled groan, I pushed myself up off the sofa and made my way to the door. I reached out to turn the handle, and I felt a twinge of panic, wondering for just a second, if Kat would be waiting on the other side. Pulling myself together, I swung the door open, and came face to face with Sean.

"Hey, I wasn't expecting you. Everything okay?" I asked warily, stepping back to allow him past.

"Not really, I need to talk to you, about Kat." He replied, turning to face me as I closed the door behind him.

The moment I looked into his eyes, I could see that he knew. He didn't look angry, but he looked more serious than I'd ever really seen him.

"Go on through." I inclined my head towards the living room and followed after him, slumping back into my seat as Sean removed his leather jacket and dropped into the chair opposite.

"Just to be clear, I know everything." Sean said with a stern look, dropping his arms over his knees as he sat forwards on the chair.

"In that case, I owe you an apology, for not being the one to tell you myself, and for hiding it for so long." I replied sincerely.

Sean exhaled sharply, his gaze softening.

"I understand why you both kept it a secret, looking back, I guess I sort of suspected it. But I didn't want to think that I was right. I assumed that if I was, then you'd be over before anything began. For that, I'm sorry."

I gave a small shrug in response, I understood his perspective and I didn't blame him for it. Knowing that there was only one person who could have filled him in on everything, I asked the first thing that came to mind.

"How is she?"

"Honestly, not that great."

Hearing that made me feel worse, but at the same time, hearing that she was doing great would have hurt equally.

"Is she... has she... I mean-"

"Had an abortion?" Sean said, finishing my sentence and saying what I couldn't bring myself to say.

I nodded in response and to my relief, Sean shook his head.

"No, she hasn't. I don't think she even knows what she wants herself. My sister has always wanted to have a family. A husband, a few kids, a lovely home. But this hasn't happened the way she always planned."

"It hasn't happened how I would have planned either." I sighed.

Sean nodded in understanding, reaching up a hand and tracing his jawline with his fingers.