say something

Chapter one - Broken

My name is Clarissa. I live is a big fancy house, my mum and stepdad are kind to me, my brother is annoying but I love him. Everything about my life seems perfect, my room is filled with things that make me look like that rich kid everyone hates. But my life is nothing like that if you go below the surface. My head thinks of things that a 15 year old should not be thinking and it scares me. All my life everything I've done has been wrong and everyone who ever got close to me I've pushed away . I'm not the perfect girl everyone wants. I'm broken.

The girl across road is happy. She always seems to be smiling or being happy about something. Her room is directly opposite mine and I can see through her window so I watch her sometimes, not in a creepy way I just , want to know what a real life is. She's started closing the curtains more often now though, before it was only when she was changing or going to bed but now it's quite a lot of the day her light often off aswell. Maybe she's just out more although I don't see her leaving. I'm worried though.

I've never met her and I don't know her name but I feel as though I know her. From the posters next to her bed and her practicing dances in the tiny space she has. If the traffic is light I can sometimes hear her singing or the gentle music she plays when she's reading or writing.she reads classics and some modern novels and her bookshelves are in colour order. I like it best been she's writing because her desk is right under her window so I can see her clearly. I sit in my window seat and watch her, she seems so engaged in the words in front of her , like they're the only thing that matter in the whole world.

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I'm Elizabeth and everything is shit. Mum's ill , my sister is disabled, my dad is unemployed. I have the attic as my room and it's only just big enough for my bed. But I pretend it's fine, I pretend everything is fine. I live across the road from a massive house where everything seems so perfect, I know it won't be but it seems to be.

I know she watches me, the girl across the road. That's how I know they're not perfect. She always seems to be sad , sometimes she's been at the window and her face was tear stained and her eyes puffy. She doesn't know I've seen her so I'm going to pretend I haven't because after she watches me she seems kind of happy. I don't know why because my life is just as bad below my act, but I guess she can't see through it. That's why I close my curtains when I cry , so I don't make her upset.

I wish I could talk to her but I don't know how. Maybe I'll leave a sign in my window, but what if it scares her away. Well it's always worth a shot I guess.