meeting mr.unofficial

Throwback

Nash's P.O.V

Another day of wrestling with my pillows and cuddle with my blanket. Rain always comes at the right timing, well, I guess I have to stay in the house for my first dayoff.

Grabbed my phone and checked for the time, if I can have Skype with my family or Sienna maybe. I sort of, miss them even more now but I'm living with this until I could finally recover from every pain, I left back home. I don't mind staying longer, if this is what it takes to be myself again.

What had happened before should not invade me again. I can still remember every spot where my tears dropped when I last cried for someone. How can I even forget when it was all over me, it drowned myself with brokenness.

January 3, 2014
Friday at 6 in the evening.

*txt conversation:*

" I can't be there, I have to go somewhere else with my cousin." Kier replied.

" okay, I won't go this day then, but maybe I'll stay out for dinner with my best trolls." I answered, wishing text conversation could send my disappointment.

"Okay. Just tell me where you guise at. " he responded short.

I can't believe I have to cancel another meeting with our wedding coordinator. We need to take care of some things and we haven't even gave the final list of the invited guest.

Suddenly my mind has a remote on her own that it keeps playing the pictures of I never wanted to see again. The memories I always fail to forget. And now instead of checking who's online, I just went down to have a coffee, leaving my phone in the bed.

I had my favorite white coffee into my cup as I turn on the tv. I was all alone in the house, my other housemates went by their work early. That means I can watch my fave channel, The MTV, but the songs that are playing are exactly the songs that reminds me of Kier before he buried me in a deserted place. :'( I felt even more depressed and sad, as my tears starts to cover my face and washed my mascara out. When I watched my reflection in the mirror and cried even more, reminding me over and over again the pain and time I wasted for someone who is not worth it.

" I thought I'm done with all these! This can't happen to me, I gave almost everything for him, just for him! What did I do to make him run out of love for me. Wh-what did I not do to satisfy his liking! " I said a loud while I cried myself out.

I cried too much that I'm a having a hard time breathing so I leaned at the counter, to gasp my breath. I wiped my tears and my wasted mascara. I ran back to my room and locked myself in. I cried and slept the whole day, wishing that by the moment I wake up all these are gone.

--

9 pm the same day when Claire knocked on the door, I forgot to unlock it before I cried myself to sleep. I directly turn against the door to hide the tracks of my saddest day.

"Hey! How's your off?" She asked.

"Hmm..fine, slept the whole day." I simply answered.

"Did you watch tv earlier? I caught Rihanna singing "Man Down" as I walked in" she asked.

"Ohh.. I-I forgot t-to turn it off earlier. " I answered feeling the guilt.

"I think you did not just sleep but you cried. Let's just go down, I have exactly just what you need." She said.

I followed her and saw her did the things my mom does when I'm sad. Claire cooked chicken adobo for dinner, made strawberry shake and she shared a lot of things to make me feel better, by then I realize how my day was turned from a melancholic one to something very special. A day brought by the pass to shape back my future.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A short update here. A little sad too. I guess this part rooted from something really deep within me. Leave some comments and suggestions! ! Please! Thaaaank you. ;)

Xoxo

-ching