I Don't Love You

Chapter 6: Stone

Jiang Wanyin sighed and closed his eyes. He didn't know where to begin or even what to say. He didn't know what to think of. All his thoughts were gone when he saw sect leader Lan not leaving with the rest of the party. When Lan Xichen said "I'm staying," to him, his words sounded like an order than a plead. Yet, he allowed him to stay. Jiang Wanyin allowed Lan Xichen to stay without knowing why and even having evening meals with him now.

Another heavy breath left his lips as the servants placed many dishes on the table. He watched, opening his violet eyes half-lidded trying his best not to meet the sight of the other sect leader. Jiang Wanyin was trying to avoid him but their current situation didn't allow it. The very lest he could do was not meet Lan Xichen's eyes, even when the other was looking at him intently.

"Please enjoy, Sect Leader Lan and Sect Leader Jiang," Jiang Wanyin's servants wished before they left the two. There were different dishes ranging from vegetables to soups, mostly easier on the stomach. It was probably his physician's request that led him to this kind of meal.

His chopsticks didn't move despite the warm food on the table. The appetite that he had was gone because of his nervousness, something that no one could imagine the Sandu Shengshou having. But, it was true. Jiang Wanyin was nervous especially when the man sitting across from him had seen him in his worst. Night after night, it seemed that all he had done was make himself a living embarrassment in front of the esteemed Lan sect leader. On top of that, he still needed to apologize for what he had said.

Jiang Wanyin wanted to laugh at himself and at the world. It was pathetic; his life was a pathetic mess.

"Wanyin, let's eat."

To others, Lan Xichen's voice sounded calm but to him, it sounded forced. As if Lan Xichen was forcing himself to be friendly and caring toward him while the truth was the opposite.

Jiang Wanyin didn't say anything as he took a breath and moved his chopsticks, taking a bite of the plain rice in front of him. He chewed and as expected, even plain rice didn't sit well with his current pallet. The chopsticks in his hand returned to where they belonged; he moved onto the congee with bits of ginger in it. He felt better after taking a few spoonfuls, so he stuck with it.

Lan Xichen noticed this as well. How his beloved didn't touch anything else than the rice porridge, and how he put down his chopsticks after a bite plain rice. He ate quietly while occasionally watching his beloved. It was worry he had in his heart. Though he knew Jiang Wanyin was getting better, he still wanted to make sure that his beloved wasn't doing anything reckless.

"Wanyin, would you like my congee as well?" Lan Xichen smiled when he saw Jiang Wanyin had finished the bowl. It was good to see his beloved having a little bit of appetite.

Jiang Wanyin finally looked at him. He missed looking at those violet eyes, it hurt how the man he loved was trying so hard to avoid him.

"No," Jiang Wanyin's voice was still a little hoarse. "I'll be fine. Thank you."

Jiang Wanyin lowered his eyes, looking at the empty bowl in front of him. He wasn't trying to be rude or impolite to the other man; he was actually full from the small bowl. Besides, no other food on the table was to his current liking which made him feel bad for the cook who made all these meals for him. His hand reached for the cup on the table. It was filled with warm tea; the same tea that Wen Ning served earlier this morning. He drank it slowly, taking his time as he watched the other man enjoying his food.

He closed his eyes, feeling the quickened heartbeat and clammy feeling on his skin. He breathed in and out quietly as he leaned back on his seat. The lump in his throat returned and his head felt heavy; he was feeling fine a moment ago yet now he felt tired despite not doing much today. He took a deep breath and let it go quietly. When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw the black jar in front of him. A black jar of leftover Emperor's Smile was sitting in front of him as if waiting for him to grab it.