Bleak
Is how I feel sometimes.
A lot of the time
Actually
Like a hazy, desolate, gray landscape
One of which the painter lost motivation to add detail and purpose
On edge is another one
Like dangling off a cliff with a rushing gorge littered with sharp rocks and flesh preying creatures just beneath
Waiting
Just waiting
For me to finally lose my grip
And fall into their cold and painful embrace
More often than not
I feel pressured
Like a piece of coal under thousands of pounds of rock
Being pushed from every angle
Shoved and pulled this way and that way
Though I fear that I will shatter and cease to exist before I become a diamond
My carbon once valuable
Now too scattered and hidden to be of use to anyone
But most of all
I feel a deep seated desire to do nothing
To just stay here in this spot forever
To waste away and be blissfully forgotten
To not have anybody rely on me
As I always seem to dissapoint
To be completely and truly myself in eternal peace
But of course I never do this
As much as I want to give in
I fight these feelings
Although it is most likely a losing battle
I talk with friends
Occasionally smile
Maybe even laugh
But it is always there
Nagging, pestering me even at my happiest
But what can I do about it
Nothing
So I continue this seemingly endless timeline of battles
Losing just as many as I win
And wait for it to be over
YOU ARE READING
Untitled (a poem)
PoetryJust another early morning poem for ya. Hope it doesn't make any of you too sad. Have a lovely day. :)