My Feelings

Darkness Within Me

Why must I suffer, this eternal pain rampaging through me. The burning sensation on my wrist as I feel blood slowly ooze out.

Why do I feel the darkness within me urge me to cut deeper...

Yet a calming sensation runs through my body when I think of him. They always ruin my plans, I was going to die in a few months and finally be at rest.

They talk to me asking questions on what I write in my NoteBook, if only they knew about my problems would they leave me alone? Many questions, only a few answers. The few teachers who know about my problems still cause me problems, I cant tell them about me finally going to commit suicide in a few months as it will cause me more trouble.

The less people know about it, the better they can move on. Though it will be hard I'm sure they'll eventually find resolve.

They don't know about the mask I put on every single day, the pain I try to hide and the thoughts that control my feelings.

They don't understand that every time I go to college or shops is to calm myself before I cut myself deeper.

They don't understand that when they bring friends round the house there just making my hatred more intense, though its not there fault.

The only friend I always will have is the razor that helps cut myself.

Why must it go on? The never ending cycle.

They will feel pain eventually but my pain will always remain with me...      even through death.

The thought of publishing this What will they think of me? Most likely they will say I'm just doing it for attention as usual.

The one thing I will most likely regret is not telling him, Thank you for making me live longer even though its only bringing me more pain, Thank you.

I'm sorry for not telling you guys in MTS but I couldn't risk my plans getting ruined again.

Why did you people talk to me? Why did you make it worse for me?

The Darkness Within Me Grows Stronger Each Day.