Akemi's Nutcracker

Part 5

"A-ah, really?" Madoka's head spun. She wondered briefly just how many rabbit holes the life of the girl in front of her would lead her through. Not only tragedy, but illness?!? Through her immense befuddlement and empathy for the raven-haired girl, she felt the sharp sting of frustration cracking through her like a whip before she could suppress it. Why, with my perfectly good life, can't I do something special, be worth existing for once? Why can't I be worthwhile...? Just because she had accepted she would never amount to anything special doesn't mean it didn't bother her sometimes. She violently shoved that thought away the second she reined her mind back in, and sunk into guilt that she had resented Homura for her achievements despite what must have indubitably been a horrible situation to endure, even if just for a moment. Even so, she could feel her body going slack, and she was sure her face was beginning to resemble the visage of a rabbit. Her questions slammed back into her as she processed once more the irony of the most athletic person in school having needed to be at the hospital at one point long enough for it to be a significant portion of her early memories. As she tunneled through the logic that could explain this phenomenon, she craved the knowledge of her life both to comfort Homura and herself. " What were you admitted for?", Madoka asked sheepishly, unsure of whether or not it made sense to pry given how shy Homura had suddenly become about the subject. Her purpose here was to derive gossip and possibly help Homura with her social skills, and Madoka refused to let her nosy selfishness deprive Homura of a hopefully good enough friend. Madoka refused to give up, but she also refused to hurt the violet-eyed girl currently huddled into herself slightly like a frightened kitten.

"I-I was in and out of the hospital constantly a long time ago..." Homura spluttered out an answer before any scrap of common sense could beseech her once more. Not only did she not transfer to Mitakihara this time because it was close to the hospital she had had surgery at, but she had placed the events of her former life as a human much farther back in her life than fourteen, and any slip-up could cost her if Madoka decided to go the extra mile and ask the nurses at Mitakihara General Hospital what she liked. As she sat fidgeting, Homura fervently thanked the nagging chide in the back of her head that screeched the idea of keeping her former life in her story for exactly situations like this one where she would desperately need that thin protection from appearing completely insane. Her brains could scramble eggs within the haze she pounded through in a pitiful attempt at magically discovering the next best thing to say as she stammered broken wheezes, feeling as if she could roll into a ball and die right now from the bewildered expression Madoka held as her body froze in a slump, despite knowing it not physically possible, to her lament. Homura wailed internally as she finally settled on telling the truth as she whispered out " I w-went in for ventricular fibrillation.." as she finally collapsed on her frame like a rag doll, bones barely holding her up. Homura pointedly declared to herself that she really needed to get better at this. That was sad.. I couldn't even muster words in my head! What would she think of me now?.. Kyouko would laugh. I really am depressing..."

No sooner did the pinkette across from Homura dredge up the definition of the medical condition she had mentioned than Madoka started flipping. " Isn't that fatal??! Aren't you supposed to not exert yourself?!" Madoka flailed her arms across the table despite her better manners in a flurried attempt to get her apparently life-saving point across. Anyone who paid attention during the health unit in gym knew that ventricular fibrillation was life-threatening and could cause cardiac arrest if aggravated or left untreated. Madoka panicked she recalled the menagerie of achievements she had earned in gym, and how if what she said was true, that almost everything she did put her in danger. Does she not see how much her life is worth? Is she that lonely that she would actively try to die?

"D-don't worry! It was a long time ago! I had surgery for implantable defibrillators, so it's not a problem anymore. You really don't need to worry about me...I'm fine." Homura quickly raised her hands in surrender, as if to protect herself from Madoka's sympathies. At this point, the raven-haired girl was an open book; she had grown so attached to her that she had shared personal information yet again, and Madoka was very clearly concerned about her. There was no turning back now, and Homura was scared solid. How am I supposed to be normal now? She had to come up with a plan to reverse the damage within the next minute, or Madoka would assume that she had no valid response to her concerns and continue fawning over her until either the end of time or Madoka stuck around so much that she was discovered for the demon she really was. A light bulb went off as gears turned, and Homura decided to just use her present situation as an excuse. " I actually needed to do a lot of exercise to get stronger, and I'm fine doing whatever I do now." Homura had no idea if any of what she just pulled out of her skirt was medically correct, but she exhaled relief in not having to completely lie. Even though her time as a magical girl was perilous and miserable, it had made her much stronger both physically and mentally. If she became human right this instant, she would be leagues stronger than she was beforehand when she could barely stand, and would probably retain the capacity to wield heavy firearms, lug cars, and jump off buildings. If only Madoka knew how little she really needed to worry about my health...she would probably be weirded out. Bad idea.