FOUR
Dear Asshole,
Me again, dick wad. Did you expect anyone else? Probably, because I’m not the only girl that hated you, you know.
No worries yet. It’s just me. I don’t think any of the other girls would be stupid enough to write to you. Yes, Xavier, like you said so many times before, I’m finally admitting it. I am stupid. More than I would care to admit to be honest.
But hey, I needed to get this out, Xavier. You’re getting this no matter how stupid you think I am.
I’m going to be writing about your girls, Xavier, so, yeah, expect this to be a loooooong letter.
Two weeks after I started working with you, I found you groping Mandy Connor on top of the photocopying machine. Your right hand was on her right boob, squeezing it as you sucked her neck like the leech you were. She was moaning like hell so you shouldn’t really be surprised that I barged in. When I did though, you guys stopped immediately. She gave me a glare while you gave me a smirk. I told – or maybe screamed at – you to do your business somewhere else. She left rather angrily while you walked up to me coolly and asked me what I think.
I didn’t answer.
But, now, I think I might as well tell you my exact thoughts that moment.
Classy.
Yep, that was it. Sorry, Xavier. I didn’t really care that time.
I wish it stayed that way.
Anyway, the next girl I found out you were with was Fran Rogue, our biology teacher. Remember when you told me that story? We were eating some PB&J sandwiches when you told me you experienced sleeping with a teacher.
My thoughts?
Eww.
Seriously, Xavier. A teacher? And not even a pretty teacher like Mrs. Hastings. Well, yeah, she’s married but still (And look at that! You had morals enough to not go after a hot married teacher. I, for one, will give you a round of applause for that). Ms. Rogue wasn’t hideous though. No, in fact, she can look pretty if it wasn’t for the big wart-like mole on her chin.
When I asked you if you did it because of your grade, you shook your head. When I asked you if you love her, you shook your head. When I asked you if she loves you, you shook your head. So I got fed up and asked you why the hell you slept with a teacher.
You told me it’s because you wanted to try being a part of a scandal.
My thoughts?
But how did you do that without staring at her freaking mole? I mean, that thing was HUGE.
Apparently, that time I said my thoughts out loud.
And you laughed at me and said that you didn’t do much with her face, except for the initial kiss on her lips. I laughed as well but now I think it’s really stupid that I laughed.
And I still didn’t care that time.
Next would be Tina Hale. The pretty nice girl you fooled around with. She wanted spice and you were just what she needed. She didn’t glare at me like Mandy or didn’t gross me out like Ms. Rogue. She was nice.
But my thoughts?
Why?
I can’t explain why I felt that way that time and we were just working for two months or something, but then I feel like crap when I find out you’re fooling around with her.
I still didn’t care that time though…
Well, at least that’s what I wanted to believe.
Next up: Holly Smith. There was one distinct difference between Holly and the other girls – she was in love with you, Xavier. I have no idea if you knew, but she was. She even asked me for help to get you.
My thoughts?
Hell, no.
But, of course, thoughts were different from actions Xavier.
Because you were well aware that I did help her,
In fact, you loathed me the day you found out about it.
Wanna know why, Xavier? Wanna know why I wanted to hook you up with the girl that’s so crazy in love with you?
Because I didn’t want to be that girl.
And the day before you found out, you guys kissed and I saw it.
That day, I admitted to myself that I did care but just a little.
Obviously, the hook-up with Holly didn’t work out so you decided to go for Ella Flemming. And Ella wasn’t just any girl. She was an ex-girlfriend – and by girlfriend, I mean, girlfriend.
The day I found out that you guys may rekindle a fire, I didn’t think of anything. I just cried. And that was the day that I admitted to myself that I did care.
I care a whole fucking lot.
But, I’m going to cut the bullshit, Xavier, because this wasn’t about if I cared or not.
Because it was about if you did.
And you know what you did wrong?
It’s because you did. You fucking cared for me just like I did for you.
This led you to the next girl.
Me.
Fuck you,
Robyn
