"You love him?"
Rashmi's voice brings me out of my reverie and I take a moment to recollect what she just said.As I take in her words,he passes by me and my eyes drifts towards him.He's walking towards the washroom next to the bed Rashmi is currently lying on.He gives me a look before getting inside and I don't even realise when a tear drop rolls down my cheek.
I could feel Rashmi's srutinising gaze on me so I turn my head towards her.
She repeated her question-"You love him?"
I didn't had the courage to lie nor the energy to beat around the bush and change the topic so I just nodded in response.
For a moment I could see an almost tender and sympathetic look on Rashmi's face.
"Did you tell him?" She asked again and I just shook my head in response.
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What should I tell him? And how many times should I tell him? And in which way should I tell him that he finally believes me? He considers my feelings for him as some kind of joke. Most people consider my feelings for him as an act which I put up for the camera.But other people don't matter. What hurts is that the guy I have feelings for doesn't understand how genuine my feelings are. He doesn't understand how his actions affects me. He doesn't understand how after a very long time-this is the purest thing which I have felt. I've tried to explain this to him and to the world in my own way but for everyone including him this is some kind of "game" which I'm playing because apparently you can't have genuine feelings for someone when cameras are around you. And honestly I'm done trying to explain. He's sees me as a friend and wants me to be there as a friend so that's how it's going to be. I'll give him whatever he wants.
And right now I owe it to all those who've supported me throughout my journey- to keep on entertaining them and to the channel for giving me a platform through which I received so much love from. My only focus for now is going to be the new show.
