It's been two days since I last saw him,two days since the finale got over. And I still couldn't stop thinking about him and to make it worse the creative team played our memories on screen during the first day of the shoot for my new show.I couldn't stop smiling while looking at our video. It brought back so many memories. I heard some people cheering "SidNaaz" behind and it instantly brought me back to reality.
SidNaaz-As in Sidharth and Shehnaz. There are people who love us together. It's all over the social media.But is there anything like SidNaaz? Well,romantically-No! but as friends -Yes. Sidharth sees SidNaaz nothing but as friendship so that it is how it is going to be!
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They blindfolded me for a task. In some other situation this could've been fun but selecting a guy while being blindfolded is annoying but I guess it's okay because I'm gonna reject all of them anyways.
I make my way towards the first person Manish directs me to and I jerk back almost immediately. Then the second one,third one and my reaction remains the same. I can hear people cheering and laughing but this entire task is really getting on my nerves! Manish then takes me towards another guy and places my hands in his. And as my hand comes in contact with the guy's hand a chill runs down my spine. The warmth of his hand-it can only be him. I move my hands upwards-the muscular arms-this can only be Sidharth! I could hear Manish say something but I was lost in the moment to realise what exactly he was saying. And the next instant Manish pulls me back and asks me who do you think it is?And I reply back almost immediately-"It's Sidharth" and with that I removed my blindfold and ran right into his arms for a hug. I flung out my arms around him literally clinging to him. I didn't even realise when I started sobbing. I was sobbing right in his arms but I couldn't do anything about it. Sidharth immediately wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back. He used his thumb to wipe away a tear drop rolling down my cheek.His gentle touch made me feel secured,made me feel so many things altogether in that moment. I kissed his cheek and he looked straight in my eyes after that. His hot breath fanning over me,our chins almost touching each other. I was literally a shaky mess engulfed in his arms and the next moment his lips lightly touched my cheek.
Woah! I didn't expect that.
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Without thinking anything and ignoring the looks thrown towards me by the people around I just stormed right into Sidharth's vanity van. He was alone and sitting on a chair. I immediately shut the door of the vanity van and ran towards him. He had a puzzled look on his face.
"Sidharth,how long are you gonna be here?"
"Just half an hour more" He replied while at the same time trying to analyse my face.
"That's it?" I asked almost choking on my words.Tears started threatening their way. I've never been a crier in my life but when it comes to this guy in front of me I can't stop it. No one can make me feel this way,no one has that kind of power over me. No one can make me cry! But when it comes to him-everything is different.
He walks over towards me and uses his thumb to remove the tears but this time his expression isn't soft like that on the stage. This time his face is void of any emotion.
"I don't want you to cry because of me. You shouldn't ignore your work because of me"
"I-umm-I kind of was getting strength because of your presence here. I don't want you to leave so soon" I blurted out everything which I was feeling at the moment not caring if it'll piss him off. But to my surprise he didn't look pissed of at all instead his expression softened and he cupped my face with his hands making me look directly at him.
"Jaan,I can't always be there around you or your workplace.You need to toughen up. Things can't go on like this forever." He sounded so genuine.His voice held a softness yet his words ended up hurting me so much.
'I can't always be around you'.
The fact that he feels the need to repeat this every single time hurts a lot. I immediately push his hands off my face and hit him hard on his chest with my fists. He looks at me shocked but then gets over it immediately and grips my hands tightly.His clenched jaw and that pissed off look is back is on his face. I should be the one angry on him right? I like his pissed off face-it makes him look so attractive and hot and my heart just can't stop jumping at the sight of it but panick quickly takes over me seeing the seriousness on his face and because of his harsh grip on me.
"I-I want to be with you...want to be with you as much as I can." I say almost trembling under his grip. He quickly removes his grip and looks at me with a smirk. Wait a smirk? He's enjoying it?
"Why would you want that?" he asks me in a sarcastic tone.
Wow. The nerve of this guy. But I'm not in the mood to give any sarcastic reply to him.
" I miss you. I know it's just been like-2 days? But I don't know how to function without you anymore. It's as if I've forgotten how I was without you" I reply with complete honesty. I don't even understand what exactly it is but I tell him whatever I'm feeling. And that serious look his back on his face. I feel dejected looking at his expression. It's as if my feelings have no impact on him? He pulls me towards him for a hug and I give in like I always do. "We are emotionally attached, Sana.It's normal to feel this way. It'll get better with time" He gently rubs my back while saying this to me. Yeah,emotionally attached! I don't have the strength to overthink about it or say anything else so I just place a kiss on his chest like I always do. And the next moment I could feel his heart racing just like me! Emotionally attached? Is that all we are?
